Dad won't let 80-year-old grandma visit baby in NICU; gets criticized on social media.
When this man is upset with his grandmother, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for not letting my grandmother see my NICU baby?'
inPHility writes:
My wife and I have tried for seven years to have a child, five years ago we discovered we will never be able to have one together.
We looked into IUI, IVF, adoption, and even fostering and finally settled on adoption as it was a guarantee for a child even though we might have to wait years for a match.
We finally got matched and fairly recently our daughter was born, but was an addict at birth and had to go through a round of morphine to help with withdrawals so was in the NICU for a week. She was also born with a respiratory issue.
She is almost month old and my grandmother recently posted on FB talking about is she wrong for being upset she can’t see her yet because of how old she is (mid 80s).
Everyone started defending her and telling her how bad they felt and I lost it and told people “it’s my child, it’s for her health, and if they didn’t like it they could eff off and not worry about ever seeing her, her health is more important than your hurt feelings.”
AITA for not letting my grandmother see her (both sets of grandparents and the godparents are the only ones so far) when it could have opened a door to even more people wanting to come over and risked my baby’s health?
From OP: Offered through the window “viewings” and was told we were being ridiculous for offering that.
From OP's wife:
I’m the new mom and I just want to clarify some things. This is my husbands grandma and baby great grand ma. She hasn’t called us once to ask us about how our daughter is doing or to talk to us about the visit which we would’ve been happy to explain. She was only communicating through my husbands mother.
Second she is constantly around small children and has school age grand kids at her house constantly. Where as the other parties do not have small children and are not around them.
Our daughter is only 3 weeks old, spent a third of that battling pneumonia, with a bipap machine, morphine and withdrawal symptoms with respiratory distress. Sometimes her symptoms can be quite scary, like today her breathing was fast and laborious. We’ve been told by multiple medical staff members that it would be much easier to fight illness after 2 months old when immune systems develop.
We have made our sentiments clear multiple times before it came to the big blow up that happened today. There was a lot of “family” weighing in sayings we were the bad guys. We’re just trying to protect our kid during this scary time admin Covid, flu, colds, rsv, and any other virus that crawls out of the bowels of humanity.
Let's find out. Plus, you're going to want to read the juicy info that OP's WIFE claps back with on Reddit!
elsie78 writes:
NTA for protecting your baby with a compromised immune system. NICU babies need a bit longer before being passed around.
However you're a TA for how you exploded online. You could have handled it better. You could have simply explained the why behind it.
And... if grandparents and godparents can see baby, why can't she?
kakoi writes:
ESH. Grandmother is stirring the pot unnecessarily and needs to pry the back of her hand from her forehead. OP, you're right to be cautious of baby's health, but you need to learn a little tact.
You should have been more pleasant about it, baby needs time to get healthy before we have visitors, we'll get her all plump and chubby for grandma don't y'all worry, etc.
The way you phrased it, be prepared for lots of relatives in the to remind you of how this or that is 'more important than your hurt feelings' in the future.
Then, OP's wife comes in hot with some more information!
crazycatmama2022 writes:
Hi everyone! I’m the new mom and I just want to clarify some things. This is my husbands grandma and baby great grand ma. She hasn’t called us once to ask us about how our daughter is doing or to talk to us about the visit which we would’ve been happy to explain. She was only communicating through my husbands mother.
Second she is constantly around small children and has school age grand kids at her house constantly. Where as the other parties do not have small children and are not around them.
Our daughter is only 3 weeks old, spent a third of that battling pneumonia, with a bipap machine, morphine and withdrawal symptoms with respiratory distress. Sometimes her symptoms can be quite scary, like today her breathing was fast and laborious.
We’ve been told by multiple medical staff members that it would be much easier to fight illness after 2 months old when immune systems develop.
We have made our sentiments clear multiple times before it came to the big blow up that happened today.
There was a lot of “family” weighing in sayings we were the bad guys. We’re just trying to protect our kid during this scary time admin Covid, flu, colds, rsv, and any other virus that crawls out of the bowels of humanity.