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Family shocked when tragedy strikes & dad's affair baby is 'dumped on their doorstep.'

Family shocked when tragedy strikes & dad's affair baby is 'dumped on their doorstep.'


When this daughter is devastated by her father's behavior, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for encouraging my mom not to take care of my dad's affair child if she did not want to?'

My dad cheated on mom for years. During his affair he let me down many times too. He'd plan stuff with me and if his affair partner was in town or available, he'd drop me without a word.

So when the truth came out I was angry with him. My younger sister was more forgiving and continued to have a relationship with him. The affair was revealed because she was pregnant.

She lost that baby. They ended up getting married and 2 years ago had a child together who I never met. A few months ago they both died in a car crash that claimed five people's lives.

A social worker contacted me and my sister to see if one of us would take the baby in. We were left until last because they wanted older bio relatives first, but none of them wanted her. My sister asked if we could raise her together. I said I was not getting involved and told the social worker I would not raise her.

My sister, who is only 19, stepped up. There were some things that needed to happen first. She dropped out of her college classes (she was working during the day and going to college at night) and she needed to move into a two bedroom place instead of the one bedroom she was in. She also needed to get some background check done.

But she passed, she has the child. Now she's having a hard time with child care. She knew I wouldn't say yes so she asked our mom. Begged our mom. She told mom if she loves her, she'll help her and she'll start opening her heart up to her little sister who is part of her girls even if she hates our dad still.

My sister laid on a guilt trip to her. Mom said she needed to think. So she called me, told me she didn't want to do it, that she HATES the thought of having that child in her home and caring for her. But she knows it will ruin her relationship with my sister if she doesn't.

I told her she shouldn't do it. That she would not be a good fit for one, but she would also be miserable and while my sister might not hate her, she could end up resenting them both. She agreed with me and told my sister she would not watch her.

My sister called and asked if I had anything to do with it. I played dumb and said I didn't know what she meant. She said she knew that was a lie because mom was so close to doing the right thing and suddenly she's firmly no.

She called me heartless, that one day she'll tell 'our little sister' everything and will make me face up to my rejection of her and my lack of care for her. I told her I owe the child nothing and I would not apologize for telling mom to do what she wants.

My sister then said I was cold hearted and cruel and I don't seem to care about her either. I told her I cannot pretend to care about the child dad created with his affair partner and that she would rather me stay away. She said it didn't mean I needed to push mom to refuse to help her either. That I was still an ass for that. AITA?

Let's see what internet users had to say. They had some interesting suggestions.

fallingstars writes:

NTA. This such a terrible situation and it has put you all in a hard spot. Your sister is an AH for asking your mom to do something that would be so painful for her, but I recognize the hard spot she's in.

It's not easy to be 19, dealing with the death of your father, and then trying to take on the care of a small child. It does sound like more than she can handle, but it's not up to your mom to fix this situation, or you.

I think sis could use some therapy to deal with all of this, in addition to a whole lot of childcare. This is a radical shift in her life, and she has to figure out if she can handle it -- it IS a little insane that they (child services) let a 19 year take this one, while apparently offering no support.

whoshotandyworhol writes:

NTA. Your mother would only have said yes had your sister succeeded in breaking her down with emotional blackmail. Good for you for being a sounding board for your mother and giving her the support she needed to stand up for herself.

Your sister chose to take on the baby, that’s on her. It’s not for her to pressure anyone else into doing it as well, and in fact the child shouldn’t be in the care of two people that don’t want anything to do with her. Recipe for disaster, that one.

correctymump4 writes:

NTA, that child is not your responsibility nor your mother's. Your sister made a rash decision & now realizes she can't do it by herself & tried making your mother do something that would make your mother extremely uncomfortable.

Looks like OP is NTA. Any advice for her?

Sources: Reddit
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