Father ignores 'selfish' neighbor when baby cries. AITA?
When this father is annoyed with his neighbor, he asks Reddit:
"AITA for ignoring my selfish neighbor when my baby cries?"
I am the father of a one year old toddler. Recently, she started teething, as her molars have started to come in. First, it was the top ones for about a week, then we had a week’s break, and now the bottom ones are coming in. It’s clearly causing my daughter a lot of pain, especially at night.
Before she was a good sleeper, but now it’s been rough. She’s been waking up around 1am and then 3am daily, screaming with her little fingers in her mouth.
My wife and I have tried comforting her, bringing her in our bed (she sleeps in our room anyway and her crib is next to our bed, but normally she likes to sleep cuddled up when she’s uncomfortable)...
We’ve even given her baby Motrin to help with the pain but she still screams for about 10-20 minutes each time until we are able to settle her. It’s shrill and it sucks, but there’s not much we can do beyond what we are already doing.
We live on the ground floor of a new condo building. It’s made of heavy concrete and decently sound proofed, but not perfect. Above us lives a single woman in her late 20s / early 30s.
This is an expensive part of town in a new building, so we can assume shes decently monied. She also keeps her balcony door open all day and night that faces into our courtyard.
She has been “punishing” us during the day by blasting loud music directly into our unit by putting a stereo next to her balcony. We are on the ground floor and have a fully enclosed courtyard so it vibrates around.
She’s got great music taste, and my daughter will dance to it all day long. So while my wife hates her intention, I think it’s worked out just fine… until now…
Last night she came barging down at 3am and rang our bell 4 times while we were trying to settle our daughter.
Motrin works for about 8 hours, so by 3am we have to give her another dose and wait through the cries, cradling her for 15-20 minutes for it to kick in again.
My wife (a strong tempered petite woman, amplified by her first year of motherhood) wanted to go fight her then and there, but I said let’s just concentrate on settling the baby and ignore her. I also didn’t want to make the baby any more upset than she already was. So yeh, I just let her fume outside my door at 3am. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
merelywhelemd writes:
ESH. You comments about her are awful (especially that "daddy" is paying her way.) Her response with the loud music is childish.
Is there some reason why you can't move the doses of Motrin so that it works all night? Maybe a dose at 11:00 pm? That would allow all of you to get a much needed night's sleep. Also, I think they make cold teething rings to help with pain. Try harder...for you, your child, and you neighbor.
herefishyfish writes:
YTA (changed from E S H) kind of from the vibe of your post. You chose to have a kid, she chooses to have music on. Maybe her preference has nothing to do with you?
She would annoy me too, but your attitude sounds as annoying as hers. A young woman can't possibly make enough money to live nice, so you had to shove a "maybe daddy's money" in there?
I'm not anti-children at all, and babies cry, sure. But you guys all sound like you deserve each other a little. She shouldn't ring your bell at 3am but also your wife wants to fight her for it like wtf lol.
severalquestions204 writes:
ESH - but you suck more. Your neighbour sucks for how she seems to have handled the problem. IF her music is directed at you, then she’s taking the passive aggressive route and that’s petty.
However I can understand why she’s so upset. She doesn’t have children, and likely needs to rest before work like most other people in existence. If her sleep if being affected every night, I’d be butthurt too.
That being said, you are a bigger AH. Firstly for not staying ahead of your child’s pain. If this is a developmental phase she’s been going through for some time now, you should be giving her pain meds before she gets to a level that continues to bother your neighborhood.
Secondly you’re an AH for your daddy’s money comment. If it takes sooooo much money to live in the building, so much so that a single woman could not possibly be able to afford it on her own without daddy’s help, maybe you and your wife should think about moving.
You know, since you’re so well off and can afford such an expensive apartment. It sounds like you can afford to not be an AH, you just don’t want to because you’ve made the choice to have a kid and now everyone must suffer along with you and your horrible wife.
Wanting to throw down with the neighbour because YOUR screaming child is disrupting her sleep is pure trash behaviour. Do better, you’re raising a child.