When this woman is annoyed with her parents, she asks Reddit:
Every year my parents expect my sister and I to travel with our families home for the holidays. My husband and I have been married for 13 years, and my sister has been married for 14.
Our parents live in Mississippi, I live in Baltimore, and sis is in Minneapolis. PLUS, we both have multiple children. Our parents are very well off and have the means to travel. We have to twist their arms to even get a quick visit, they never stay more than a day or 2.
The few times that one or the other has been unable to make it home for a holiday a massive guilt trip ensues. My sister and I don’t even get to visit each other with our respective family’s busy schedules.
This year, we decided that my husband, kids and I would go to her house for Thanksgiving to change things up, my kids have never been to their cousin’s house. When I called my parents to let them know our plans they were absolutely outraged. Now I feel ostracized by them. They're icing me out? Insane.
My parents were invited and we’ve practically begged them to come but they are “thinking about it.” My mom is retired but dad works, even thought it isn’t out of necessity, and it’s always a big deal for him to request time off.
I really want to just get over it but every time my mom brings up us changing the tradition, I feel even worse. AITA for wanting to do something different?
NTA. The fact that you feel guilty is proof of years of emotional blackmail doing its job.
If I were you I'd make a rotating schedule of who hosts each holiday, and let your parents plan accordingly.
My MIL used to drive us crazy with Christmas. The breaking point was the year I had to work nightshift going into the holiday.
I had been up over 24 hours trying to please both families and she started texting we were taking too long at my parents. I started crying, DH took my phone walked outside and had such a strong conversation with his mother that she hasn't pulled that nonsense since. So glad it happened before we had kids.
We now do Christmas Eve at the big family party with my in-laws, my kids get to do Christmas morning in their house with my parents and we get to my in-laws when we get there.
No more sleeping on their couch so the whole family can be together. No more stupid crazy early wake up hours so everyone can have Christmas morning.