People share the harmful ideas we're passing to our children without realizing.
So much of what we pass down to our children was passed on to us. Plenty of the things we say and do, and kids learn, is just osmosis, not really critically analyzed but just done because it's the way of the culture. On Reddit, someone posed a question to the community — 'What are the harmful are being taught to children?'
The answers were, surprisingly or not, insightful — especially for the standards of a random, popular internet forum. Here are 15 that provoked the most discussion.
1.) From mrada34:
I used to work at a movie theater back in the day and I'll never forget witnessing a kid pick up their trash on their way out like a responsible person and their mother instructing them to put it back down because it is not their responsibility.
Probably way more harmful things being taught to kids, but the story just came back to my mind.
2.) From MzFrazzle:
External validation.
Constantly chasing likes and followers. The unbearable weight of keeping up appearances. Lives and bodies that aren't perfect seem to have no value.
3.) From Damurph01:
Not specifically taught, but moreso an effect of how we teach kids.
Smart and gifted kids in school aren’t challenged enough. Those that do very well, even in a specific subject instead of overall, aren’t taught proper work ethic because they excel already and don’t need to work as hard.
Since they aren’t challenged early, they don’t learn how to work when challenged, and they end up doing poorly in school later in life. I know it’s hard to do, but we really need to be aware that we’re setting kids up to fail when we don’t properly challenge them.
4. From Good-Negotiation-272:
As I was leaving elementary school, they decided to implement some sort of “reading level”. You were not allowed to read a book that was higher than your “level”.
Now, for context, I am avid reader. I got an eighth grade level of reading. I was reading Sybil by sixth grade. However, I do not do well in subjects such as math because it doesn’t make sense to me.
So, we got tested and I got my score, a nice, high score. Something my parents would be proud of me for.
In the schools library, I go to grab a book I thought was interesting. A Secret Garden I think it was called? It was a high level, so of course, nine/ten year old me thought I was allowed to read it!
My goddamn fifth grade teacher yanked it from me, and I wasn’t allowed to read it because I wouldn’t understand it and gave me a picture book. I tried to protest and say I got a good level, but he said no, I didn’t and I was lying.
To this day, I hold massive resentment towards him and the system that says, “You can’t do this because you got a poor grade on it.” Think of how easily that could turn people away from doing things?! How many more kids could we get into reading if we didn’t say, “No, you can’t because you won’t understand.”
Then, if they won’t understand, help them. Teach them. Isn’t that why we’re here? To teach kids?
5.) From autovices:
That if you don’t do good in school you won’t or can’t be successful
But at the same time the gravity of how important it is to study
People who study can be successful but it doesn’t guarantee success.
What will make you successful however is being really good at something and practicing it.
6.) From lonelysof:
that crying is bad. parents don’t learn to regulate their own emotions and expect their kids to do it. then they start suppressing crying. and then they grow to be adults with zero emotional regulation. it’s a cycle.
7.) From ohmystelena:
That if someone teases/bullies you, that person may like you. Basically teaching kids at a young age that it's 'ok' when someone is being mean and rude to you.
8.) From holaxamigo:
That your parents are always right.
9.) From earthycarl:
That staying quiet means good behavior
10.) From Spluff5:
That questioning authority is a bad thing.
11.) From Cellar_door_1:
Teaching them they’re responsible for how other people feel “mommy is so sad you won’t hug her” child then feels obligated to hug her to make her feel better. Think about what this means as an adult…
12.) From LovableLayla:
That they don't have an opinion. I'm breaking generational curses by simply listening to my kids.
13.) From imaginaryghost2:
That children can't be sad. Children can be sad and as someone who had struggled with mental illness ever since I was 8, I can confirm. Children are humans just like us, they have emotions. You can be depressed even if your age isn't in the double digits.
I would also like to add another one; the 'It will get better' and 'Just put on a happy face' mentality. Unfortunately, life is a bitch. It will not get better. You get better. Depression doesn't fade away just because you are smiling. I wish it was that easy, but it isn't.
Stop trying to reassure and make excuses for your child's mental health. Actually, get your ass up and help them.
14.) From MegaMachina:
That anyone you spend time with of the opposite sex is automatically your boy/girlfriend. Instills the idea that you can only be friends with those of the same gender as you, which is messed up.
'What did you do at break time today?'
'I had fun playing with Sarah.'
'Oooh, is Sarah your girlfriend?'
15.) From ReaILY22/:
Overworking to death