My wife has decided that since she can’t drink because she is pregnant that I can’t either. I planned to take my annual leave from work to take us (and pay for) a trip abroad. I asked my wife would the drinking rule still be in effect and she said of course. I’ve now decided I won’t be paying for us to take this trip.
My wife and I both normally would smoke weed pretty often. My wife would smoke more than me mainly due to the fact I work more hours and she works a grocery store where she can happily go to work high whereas I work in a job that I’d struggle to perform high.
We both would rarely drink maybe once or twice a month. Since my wife got pregnant I knew the weed thing would be big for her so I was more than happy to give up smoking. She since then also expected me to give up drinking, literally all drinking I’m not even allowed to have 1 beer if we go for a meal.
My job in my opinion is more stressful but also pays more so I pay the majority of our bills. After taking care of 90% of our bills I’ve managed to save up and would like to take us on a holiday abroad to recharge after working my ass off without a holiday for the last few years.
But not being able to enjoy a few drinks whilst on holiday I feel kills the relaxation and when it takes over a year to save up for this type of trip I’d like to be able to enjoy it to the fullest.
My wife has decided she will not budge and if she cant drink neither can I, so I’ve decided that I won’t be paying for the trip and we can just do something cheaper / closer to home. AITA?
mbminx writes:
I'll be unpopular, but NTA. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and nothing gets under my skin much more than people who are alcohol-free DEMANDING that other people can't drink either.
There is no reason why normal people with a healthy relationship to alcohol can't enjoy the occasional adult beverage at the proper place and time. It's the personal responsibility of the non-drinker to manage their response.
I don't know you or your wife's relationship with alcohol...but the occasional beer or glass of wine with dinner is entirely reasonable for a normal person. Your wife sounds like she is unwilling to deal...and that's not on you.
Telling you that you have to stay stone-cold sober on vacation because SHE can't drink is like telling someone they can't have dessert because THEY are on a diet. It's balderdash..
Sangy101 disagrees:
YTA. He promised HIS wife. So rude of HIM. Instead of resolving their conflict, he’s using the vacation — their last child-free vacation — as leverage. And he’s unilaterally making the decision to cancel it. That’s an asshole move for sure. It’s manipulative and petty.
Also, I don’t care if you claim you don’t drink: if not being able to drink ruins your vacation so much you feel the need to nuke the whole trip, you have an unhealthy relationship with booze.
murphy3837 writes:
NTA. Your wife sounds very controlling. I don’t think it’s right that she is asking you to give up alcohol while she is pregnant. Giving up the weed is understand able because of second hand smoke and the smell on your clothes. Cancel the trip.