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Husband scolds second wife for spoiling her daughter and making his daughter jealous.

Husband scolds second wife for spoiling her daughter and making his daughter jealous.

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When this man is frustrated with his daughter's stepmom's behavior, he asks Reddit:

AITA for calling my daughter spoiled for crying about a bracelet?

My wife (41F) of four years and I (45M) have a blended family. She and I both have a daughter from a previous marriage. Her daughter is 8 and my daughter is 7. I was raised by a dad who made a good salary but blew every dollar he earned. As a result I have always lived frugally and hate conspicuous consumption with a passion.

Now my wife and I are economically stable- she is a travel nurse and I own a contracting business. We have agreed that we would not raise our kids to be indulgent spenders.

However, a caveat is that my wife and my stepdaughter are attached at the hip- she calls her the love of her life and her muse, as well as her fashion twin. My wife has recently started her own nursing agency and between that and her summer contract, she is making more than me for the first time.

Despite her often arranging for my stepdaughter to travel with her during the summer or visit her office, she also feels a lot of mom guilt.

Therefore she is very susceptible to the dreaded puppy dog eyes. The puppy dog eyes convinced her to fork out money for membership to a mini golf place that my stepdaughter got bored of after two visits.

And it worked today at the mall. We first went to get the kids new backpacks and then went across the mall to Bloomingdale's because my wife was getting interviewed by a local paper and needed something to wear.

When we were there we kind of split up because my stepdaughter squealed ' twins!' and went to help her mom pick out clothes. I found a place to sit down with my daughter because I needed to answer a few emails.

I come back to earth because my wife and stepdaughter had disappeared and my daughter said she saw them go down the escalator. We go down and find them at a jewelry counter. My daughter makes a noise of dismay as she watches them get handed two matching bags.

My daughter asks if she bought something for her stepsister and my wife says ' no sweetie, it's just for me.' However, a look at her stepsister's face tells my daughter that she's lying and she starts saying 'What did you get? Can I have one please?'

My stepdaughter says ' it's called a tennis bracelet and I got it because mom and I are twins.' My wife shushes her and says we should go home now. But my daughter kept repeating ' can I have one? I want one.'

She then bursts out into tears. I tell my daughter to come with us, and when she doesn't I am exasperated and say ' Stop- you are acting very spoiled. A lot have less than you.' My daughter then stomps after us.

When I get home I find out the bracelets cost over $2,000 together and expressed dismay to my wife, reminding her of our no luxury policy for our kids.

She says she knows but that it was the happiest she has seen her daughter and she has to go away for business soon and felt guilty. I feel like regardless of my wife's actions, I need to continue to teach my daughter my values. AITA?

Let's find out.

whitejadedbutterfly writes:

YTA. OP’s wife lies to OP’s daughter because she knows OP is too cheap to buy stuff for his own daughter and doesn’t want her to feel hurt or left out when she bought it for her own daughter.

Sounds like OP and his wife have separate finances for each of their own daughters, so i won’t say she’s a horrible stepmother. OP is definitely TA for his treatment of his daughter.

profileelectronic writes:

YTA. So basically you are telling your daughter that she is wrong for feeling excluded when that is precisely what your wife and daughter are doing.

Your wife has never accepted your daughter and she never will. You will continue living in some fool's paradise demeaning and devaluing your daughter. Sad that she can't go back to her bio mother and is forced to live in an emotionally abusive environment.

todayseyegem makes these points:

If she didn't want her to feel hurt or left out, then she shouldn't leave her out and hurt her feelings. Zero luxuries is ridiculous. Tennis bracelets for children is ridiculous.

You are raising your daughters together, you cannot have different rules for the two of them. Go to therapy and work on your inability to splurge just a little bit from time to time (and about the way you talk to and treat your daughter.

Because yep YTA for making her feel more like s**t than she already did for a completely normal reaction from a child), and go to therapy with your wife to talk about a reasonable expectation for the two of you to keep in regards to the raising of your children.

ESH. A lot. Except your poor daughter. Do better.

Well, looks like OP is TA. Or is the stepmom ruining it for everyone? What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
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