Lesbian tells son he looks like other mom is because she birthed him. Wife gets mad.

As parents, you're tasked with telling your kids the facts of life. This is simple enough on its face, but it can get tricky if you disagree about when to tell them.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for telling her son the reason he looks more like his other mom. She wrote:

"AITA for telling my son the reason he looks more like his mom and not me is because his other mom birthed him?"

My wife and I are a same-sex couple and we've been together for over ten years. My wife is the one who was pregnant with our son (10M) and his sister (5M). Lately, our son has been coming home from school and continuously asking why he looks more like his other mommy but looks nothing like me. This was a conversation my wife avoided having for a long time but he kept asking.

I decided to explain to him that he looks like his other mommy and not me because he was in her tummy and has half of her genetics, and that's why he looks more like mommy than me. He seemed okay with that. My wife noticed that he no longer noticed he was asking and asked me why he wasn't asking this question anymore. I told her that I explained he was in Mommy's tummy and shares half of her genetics.

She was pissed with me and got into a massive argument, saying I shouldn't have told him that. Personally, I can't see what I did wrong as I explained what he wanted to know; he was okay with that; I told him, although you weren't in my tummy, I love you just as much, if not a little more, than other mommy does. AITA?

The internet kept it honest in the comment section.

ladyteruki wrote:

...I mean, I know the education system is not great, but as some point your son was bound to learn how babies are made, right ?

"This was a conversation my wife avoided having for a long time

She was pissed with me and got into a massive argument, saying I shouldn't have told him that."

INFO: I'd be curious what her point of view is here. You don't expand much on that: why didn't she want to discuss it with him?

OP responded:

She felt he didn't need to know, in her view all that matters was he has two loving parents just like any other family out there.

yet_another_sock wrote:

ESH. You guys sound like incredibly dysfunctional parents if your kid is 10 and you and your wife haven't even agreed on whether/how to tell your kid this major part of your family's history that kids notoriously get curious about. The 5-year-old should know this by now, let alone the 10-year-old.

Maybe you don't have a lot of queer parents to talk to and don't know how to approach this kind of thing, but it seems pretty equivalent to not telling a 10-year-old they're adopted. Your wife is in the wrong for wanting to conceal that, but you're both parents and you both neglected to plan here.

I wonder what other major co-parenting conversations you and your wife have been neglecting to have, to your kids' detriment? Because frankly this all seems like a huge, alarming failure of common sense.

aconitea wrote:

N T A for your explanation of the physical

But Y T A for telling him you love him more than his other mom?! Wtf is that about?!

HereWeGoAgain-1979 wrote:

NTA. But why is it a secret? Just gonna lie to the kids all their life? With two mums of course just one is bio mum, they will learn that in school. They should have learned it at home… but I guess not. What was her plan? I really don’t understand.

No one can agree on a verdict for this, which means we need your wise hot takes, dear commenter.