Man calls GF 'disgusting' for complaining about her 'loser' 14yo daughter.
'AITA for calling my girlfriend disgusting and telling her she should be ashamed when she was crying?'
I’m a 40 year old man and my girlfriend of a year is 38. She has a daughter from a previous partner who is 14 and a freshman in high school.
I went over there yesterday to find my girlfriend crying. I tried to figure out what was going on and where I can help when she told me she was crying about her daughter and how she is doing in school.
I love her daughter. She is the sweetest girl ever. I wish my daughters were as well behaved as her. I have to describe her daughter. She has a nice friend group, does not have trouble with bullies, and generally seems very happy. I bet you’re wondering why her mother would be crying if this was the case.
Her mother/my girlfriend was crying because her daughter is not the popular athlete cheerleader homecoming queen that she was in school. Her daughter marches to the beat of her own drum which I think is the best anyone can hope for. Yes she’s a little bit dorky. But her own mother referred to her as a LOSER during this crying fit.
She’s very into anime (her and some friends actually started an anime club at their school), Pokémon and video games. Most of her wardrobe is black t shirts with anime or video game characters on them. Again, she’s a happy kid. She’s got her social circle who all have similar interests. It’s just not the circle her mom wishes she was in.
Here are some quotes from her during this that turned me red: “I never would have imagined my daughter would be a dweeb” “she needs to grow out of this before college” and my personal favorite “I wouldn’t have been caught dead with kids that look like that”
I called her disgusting and told her she should be ashamed of herself. I said her daughter is happy and how would she feel to hear her mom crying about her perceived popularity. I told her how lucky she has it that her daughter doesn’t deal with a lot of the issues kids that days have.
This ends with her being upset with me because instead of consoling her when she was crying, I called her names. I don’t think the crying means anything. She was saying horrible things.
Here are questions people had for OP:
momokplatypus asks:
Why exactly are you with this awful woman?
WeekUnlucky6293 OP:
She has her good qualities. She’s just obtuse about certain things. I think it’s a lack of understanding more so than her just being a bad person.
Thermicthermos asks:
I'm gonna take a wild guess that gym regular home coming queen is pretty hot.
WeekUnlucky6293 OP:
She is
The__Riker__Maneuver asks:
Have you just been ignoring a bunch of Red Flags for a year? There's no way you haven't previously noticed that your girlfriend is superficial and immature....to the point where she would talk shit about her own daughter. Do us all a favor and wait for this post to get more responses and then show it to your girlfriend.
WeekUnlucky6293 OP:
I have. I guess it’s not frequent enough for me to believe there’s a pattern. I’ve always treated them as one off instances. Maybe I am wrong.
Here's how people judged the situation:
Nta. Having a happy, healthy child is what her focus should be, not her popularity. Don’t ignore her words though, she’s just shown her true colours.
nosaneoneleft writes:
This twit of a mother probably wanted the little girly princess who was capable of doing little else but play with dolls and socialize.
Peep_Power_77 writes:
Mom sounds like she was one of those 'popular' kids who used her status to be mean. And she never grew out of that. She's still mean. And now she's upset because her daughter is a nice kid and the type of person she would have enjoyed bullying back in the day. Mom has issues. And, yes, 'disgusting' is a good word for her.
ScreamyPeanut writes:
YTA, not for calling your girlfriend disgusting, but for being with someone who is so shallow and toxic to begin with.
MENG-GMS writes:
'dweeb' ¿Do humans actually say stuff like that?
Sp00derman77 writes:
They did, back around 1987.