Man defends wife after she purposefully dumps coffee on a kid. AITA?
"AITA for defending my wife after she purposely dumped coffee on a kid?"
My wife and I are both 34 and kid free. My brother 'Mack', 28, started dating 30yo 'Heather' roughly a year ago and she came with 3 kids. 12yo 'Anna', who is 100% the problem child. The boys (6+8) are great. Anna on the other hand purposely does stuff to upset people at every turn and is extremely defiant and her mother let's her get away with it.
We own a camp on the lake and once a year we host a large BBQ and weekend stay for the entire family. Mack brought Heather and the kids. Anna was awful all weekend.
Picking fights with people, throwing tantrums, hitting, etc. And Heather just stood back saying 'I don't know why she acts like that' rather than do anything to correct her kid. My wife was getting noticeably more angry as the hours progressed but nothing like yesterday.
Yesterday we were all sitting out on the deck talking and enjoying a coffee and Anna was under foot, per usual. She was told to go play with the other kids several times and she refused. Finding excuses to be involved in the conversation.
Which included picking up a fly swatter and swatting at flies around all the adults- knocking over our coffees several times. She was also smacking my wife with the swatter repeatedly saying there were flies on her when there wasn't.
My wife at one point looked at Heather and said 'either get your kid the f&%$ out of here or I'm going to lose my s%$&. I also spoke to my brother several times about him stepping in. This was following Anna dumping my wife's fresh coffee all over the place (including on her) for the second time (cold coffee- my wife doesn't drink hot coffee).
Heather said a clipped 'Anna go play' and that was it. No follow through. Well, Anna comes right back in and slaps my wife on the forehead with the swatter and says 'bug, missed him'.
My wife took her coffee (her 3rd one that she just made. Again, cold) and flung it at Anna, covering her. Anna immediately starts crying and Heather flips out, so does my brother. Saying that my wife was an immature b&^%% and that she's 'just a kid'.
My wife calmly puts her cup down and continues conversation like nothing happened, as Anna, Heather and Mack are all flipping out. But then Heather says 'do you have anything to say for yourself?'
And my wife says 'don't let the door hit you and your d%mon spawn the way out'. Some of the adults are saying maybe an apology is warranted and that we are AHs for not giving one. I personally don't think so. AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
nearbyhighlights writes:
NTA. Might be an unpopular opinion, but I think your wife is amazing. Your brother and especially Heather are the ones to blame. They should be apologizing for the kid's behavior. This definitely sounds like a parenting-problem.
warfhin writes:
NTA. There were definitely better ways to handle that, but y'all tried all the best and most obvious first. And it's not like cold coffee could injure her, so all the 'you shouldn't throw things at children' people are upset for no reason.
Water balloons would be more likely to cause injury and so would a rogue fly swatter Nothing to apologize for in my opinion all you did was try to teach the kid about FAFO.
remarkgov writes:
NTA. Crappy parenting shouldn’t be your issue. Had her parents stepped in and done anything about it this wouldn’t be an issue. If my child was raising hell like that and wouldn’t behave he goes home. In the very least. Dumping multiple coffees is annoying enough, but repeatedly getting swatted at??? I admire her restraint, honestly.