When this man embarrasses his wife over her stepson, he asks Reddit:
My (42 M) wife (38 F) Sasha and I have been married for a few months now. We have four children together, and three of them are my step-daughters. They are Sarah (16 F), Emily (14 F), and Hannah (15 F). I have Aiden (10 M) through my previous marriage.
Sasha has always been indifferent to him. I will make it clear that she does not "hate" him and does not make his life difficult in an overt way. She just pretends as if he is not a member of family. I have asked her to warm up to him, but she just shrugs it off. But as there hasn't really been a fight regarding the issue before, I did not want to start one and kept my quiet.
She was invited, along with us, for her friend's wedding. We went there, and after the wedding she was talking to her friend. Her friend asked her whether "they" were her kids (by pointing to the four of them as they were standing some distance away).
She said "Yeah, the girls are," and mentioned who was who. I was shocked that she had implied that Aiden was not her child, but she gave me a Don't-bring-that-up-now look when I looked at her in disbelief. I told her friend "You know, she won't admit it but the boy is her son too.
Her step-son, and she doesn't like him." She was mortified as the others realized this, and attempted to laugh it off by saying that she had not noticed Aiden/thought it was another boy, etc.
Later, though, she severely accused me of embarrassing her. She said that if she doesn't want to consider Aiden as a son, it's her choice. That resulted in a full-blown argument which makes me think that I might be the asshole.
Also, Before we had the wedding, when she visited him she was rather warm towards him in the way a girlfriend is when meeting her boyfriend's son which is why I agreed to the marriage/wedding.
Afterwards, she said that now because it's "official" and he would be living with her all the time, she's finding it hard to adjust. Earlier she was very nice to him and treated him well whenever she saw him. AITA?
YTA for marrying someone who doesn’t like or treat your kid well. Your wife is TA for her immature and dismissive behavior of a child.
Honestly, I think you’re the bigger AH though. You knowingly married her when she mistreats your kid. Your first priory should be your child. He has very little control over his life. You are supposed to protect him from hurtful situations, not put him in them.
Clear ESH. What were you thinking marrying someone who is 'indifferent' towards your child, and what ARE you thinking approaching it by making a joke in front of people instead of forcing a serious discussion? What's wrong with you?
Let me tell you this now before it's too late. My dad married someone who was 'indifferent' towards me and didn't want me around. It got worse and worse until she threw me out of the house and my dad let her.
I'm 30 now, and my relationship with my dad is forever changed. It's too late for me, it is NOT too late for your son. Stand up for him now while you have the chance.
ETA I've now seen your edit where you say she was nice enough to him during visits before you were married but now that you're married and living together she's struggling with him. So... you got married and blended your families in one fell swoop without even trying living together first. WHY would you do that???
NTA for pointing out your son. Good on you for doing that! Your wife sounds like a pill. However, YTA for marrying someone who doesn’t accept your son as family. I had to reread this as I thought you were describing the behavior of one of her teenage daughters.
Your son will be a teenager and the teen years are hard enough without having a step ‘monster’ who will not publicly acknowledge you. How would that have made you feel? That wouls have changed my relationship with my dad if I had been in that situation.