Man maintains relationship with gf's dad after he leaves her mom, gf is furious.
When this man is conflicted about his relatinships with his gf's dad, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for calling my GF a hypocrite and saying I can have a relationship with her dad if I want to?'
helppne writes:
Me and my GF Corey (both 27) have been together 5 years. I’ve know her family for a long time and have formed a good relationship with her dad.
We both golf and watch sports together, I consider him a friend. Like 3 years ago it comes out (3rd party) that Corey’s mom was having an affair. Her dad moved out and her mom went nuts.
I was stayed out of it but I refused to accompany Corey to her moms house. I don’t fuck with cheaters and let her go alone unless it is a big Holliday or important event at her moms.
This whole time Corey was pushing her dad to reconcile with her mom. She begged him to try counseling and talked about forgiveness.
Idk what happened but Corey’s dad eventually gave in and went to counseling. They reconciled 2 years ago. Then it became this weird situation where Corey’s mom seemed to enjoy brining up her affair.
She would post on social media how forgiveness and the church brought them back together. Constantly talking about power of prayer. As man I could see her dad HATED it. Imo he was only sticking around for the sake of the family.
In February this year Corey’s dad left in the middle of the night (according to Corey’s mom- her dad told me he left a note). He moved in with a woman he had been seeing.
They are now divorced and Corey’s dad is living with this woman. I’ve maintained my friendship with him. I told him I can’t really blame him as he was in a no win situation.
Corey on the other hand has been a nightmare. She’s blocked her dad. Bashes him to friends and family. Gets mad at me for carrying on a relationship with him. She also goes to her moms house regularly to “comfort” her mom.
None of this she did to her mom whenever she cheated years ago. Instead saying that “they worked past that together”. Last night I called her a hypocrite in front of her brother.
Saying that she never blamed her mom, instead preached forgiveness. Never cut her mom off and never forced me to stop talking to her dad. She never went over to her dads rental alone to “comfort” him.
Only push him to reconcile. She then demanded I stop talking to her dad. I said I’m an adult who doesn’t let others dictate their relationships. That me and her dad do not discuss her in any form. We talk baseball lol.
So no I wouldn’t stop because she wants to be a hypocrite and not hold her mom accountable for what happened. I recommended therapy for her but was called an AH for this. I don’t think I need to apologize as calling her a hypocrite is accurate. AITA?
Let's find out.
nazgul417 writes:
100% NTA. OP is an adult who can choose his own friendships. Period. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean your SO controls who you’re friends with. This situation has emotional abuse written all over it.
GF’s mom cheated, then begged and manipulated, then continued to bring it up after she got her way. GF’s dad tried to keep the family together, opting for forgiveness.
But when he fell into the same trap his wife did, the family cut him off. That’s a complete double standard. It just proves that everyone in that situation (except OP) thinks men’s mental health is a joke. GF’s dad needs a friend right now.
Just like GF’s mom needed a friend when the original all went down.
snoocauliflower sums it up quite nicely:
ESH. Corey's mom - For cheating, and thinking things can 'just go back to normal' - but dwelling on the whole situation. She also sucks for being blind to what was going on with her husband.
Corey's dad - For cheating, and then moving in with the other woman. If he 'left in the middle of the night', and 'moved in with the woman he had been seeing' - You think he wasn't cheating? I almost wonder if 'payback' wasn't on his mind.
Corey - For not owning up to what's been going on, and taking sides, when it appears that both parents have fidelity (and other) issues.
You - For siding with Corey's dad, when it appears he was probably cheating on corey's mom - but saying Corey is a hypocrite, when she downplayed her mom's cheating.