Man with high-risk pregnant wife yells at adoptive mother, 'YOU DON'T GET IT!' AITA?
When this man upset with his mother, he asks Reddit:
"AITA for telling my mom she don’t understand bc she’s never been pregnant?"
I28m was adopted by my mother. She was incapable of conceiving a child after having a hysterectomy due to a horrible accident. She’s grieved her uterus and biological children so it’s not a subject we bring up.
My fiancé is 27 weeks pregnant (high risk) and has diagnosed hyperemesis gravidarum. We just got a diagnosis finally after no one was listening too, and we are trying to get her body back on track, but somethings are too much.
We had my mother and father over yesterday night for dinner. My mother wanted to teach my fiancé how to cook an “authentic Italian meal.” After many apologies, my fiancé said she couldn’t take the smell, and went upstairs.
My mother is short tempered, she’s old fashion Italian, and is very strict, and judgmental. She began to go on and on about how you never treat a guest that way, especially an in law, and how she had driven 40 minutes to come do this.
I tried to explain the situation, and she insisted my fiancé was just being over dramatic, so I said “you wouldn’t understand ma because you’ve never been pregnant.” My mom bursted into tears, and they left.
My dad called me and said he agreed with me, but I needed to apologize bc my mom had locked herself in the bedroom for the night crying. I of course feel bad for my mom but she doesn’t understand. Aita?
Let's see what readers thought.
looselybound writes:
ESH. Your mom was out of line and definitely needed to be set straight. You didn't just set her straight though, you went for the jugular.
Damn, dude. I'm not sure there is a greater weakness for women who want to conceive yet are unable to. You say you feel bad, but I'm really not sure you feel bad enough. I don't even like my mother and I still wouldn't say that to her.
happinesspt writes:
ESH- your mum is being ridiculous and rude and it’s pretty important you set boundaries about how she treats your fiancé right now, otherwise you risk a very overbearing grandmother.
That being said, next time you need to just stick to the facts “(name) has a pregnancy condition called HG. It makes her hyper sensitive to smells and she’s sick often. She isn’t being dramatic.”
When she comes back with criticism, stand by your partner without being hurtful- “mum, I’ve told you that (name) is not being rude, she is unwell. Please stop making comments about her”.
rojita369 writes:
NTA. Your mom was being rude to someone in their own home. I’d have straight up asked her to leave. You’re not going to come into my home and be rude to my spouse, pregnant or not. I have the feeling this isn’t the first time your mother has been rude or nasty to your wife. Good for you for sticking up for your wife.