Man 'humiliates' BIL by gifting him a parenting book, BIL demands public apology.
When this man is conflicted, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for giving my BIL a parenting book for his birthday and embarrassing infront of everybody?'
So to start let me preface this by saying that my sister has been married to Hank for over 6 years. They have 2 kids and one on the way.
I visit her almost daily and I noticed that my BIL does little to nothing around the house or even child care. To give some examples...one time my nephew fell off the stairs and didn't need a hospital but needed immediate care from one of the parents.
My sister was literally stuck helping my niece out of the barn and BIL just sat infront of the tv shrugging it off. I was stunned that I had to go help my nephew out. Not just that but even now that my sister is 7 months pregnant. He keeps making her lift heavy things, run after the kids, bath them and cook for them.
He claims he's not usually this 'unavailable' but since it's 'football season' then he needs to catch up to all the games. I was getting irritated of him especially, after he ruined mine and my wife's 1st ever pregnancy announcement by asking my wife if 'she was sure I will be a decent father' smfh.
His birthday was a couple of days ago. I was going from one stor to another not knowing what I shoukd get him. I found something that I thought would be beneficial for him.
My wife and I arrived to my sister's house and had dinner. BIL didn't stop nagging my wife about the pregnancy saying that there's 80% chance I'll turn out to be a deadbeat dad. I couldn't take it it. when it was time for gifts.
I got up, handed him a book on parenting and said 'here, I found this amazing book called 'The Gift of Failure'....it's about parenting...strange concept I know but....I figured you'd benfit from it especially with a 3rd kid on the way'.
He was absolutely speechless. Everybody was staring at him and my wife and mom laughed. He just gave me a look then stormed off upstairs. my sister ran after him then came back later saying he's calmed down after she turned the tv on a footbal game.
He sent me an email later saying I embarrassed and mocked him infront of everybody and demanded I apologize publicly just like I humiliated him publicly. My dad thinks I went a bit too far here too.
Was I the asshole?
Let's find out.
katana1369 writes:
NTA. He was projecting his bad parenting on you. And since I suspect you're going to be an excellent father you'll be able to embarrass him every day simply by being a good father.
I feel so sorry for your sister but she obviously has chosen to be a single parent in spite of having her childrens father right there.
booksandstarslover takes it a step further:
He could very likely be beating OPs sister and the kids. This has a lot of the signs.
Him not helping a injured kid, callous with his wife, lazy and doesn't help with anything, sister immediately rushed off to calm him and knew instantly what would pacify him showing this happens a lot to her.
Doubling down would be the worst thing he could do. He needs to get her help.