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Man raising brother's daughter snaps after being criticised for 'letting' her box.

Man raising brother's daughter snaps after being criticised for 'letting' her box.


There are times when saying the obvious truth only results in emotional turmoil for all parties. But there are also times when it's completely worth it to get the jab in. It all depends on context.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for reminding his brother why he wasn't allowed to raise his own daughter. He wrote:

"AITA for reminding my brother that it's his fault he didn't get to raise my niece?"

He went to prison for identity theft and forgery when my niece, now 18, was only seven years old. I raised her from the point. Now that he is out, he has visited us a few times. The first visit was a little bit awkward. I had asked my niece if she is ready and she said yes, but it was still a little weird. On the second one, it was better.

The third visit, he found out that I had allowed her to do boxing since she was 10 and that she's still taking classes with a personal trainer every week. My brother got really upset about it. He then said girls shouldn't do boxing and that I had failed as an uncle.

And I was just standing there, stunned for a moment. Then I asked "Should I have committed forgery and gotten sent to prison like you instead? It's your fault you weren't around to make the choices."

In hindsight, I realized it was kind of a dick move from me to say that to someone who just got out not too long ago but I was just so pissed at the moment. Our mother also called me later that night to say I didn't have to throw that in his face that way. Should I have just held my tongue?

Redditors had plenty of thoughts about the family dynamic.

Yee_Bow wrote:

NTA. He opted not to be there for her and it doesn’t seem like he tried to do any parenting from behind bars. If he’s upset about the past it’s his way of deflecting the blame and maybe he needed that reminder from you, as harsh as it may have felt.

kageyama1009 wrote:

NTA he committed forgery and he was put in prison while you looked after his daughter and raised her. He should be grateful. Plus boxing is such a good sport, even better for self-defense.

OneLessDay517 wrote:

NTA. He forfeited his right to raise his child when he went to prison. Monday morning quarterbacking YOUR raising of HIS child simply will not be tolerated. You failed as an uncle? Well, that's because you were busy being a DAD, and your kid (yes yours, not his) knows it.

AppropriateScience71 wrote:

NTA. Yep, that was definitely a low blow, but what he said was far worse. Not only to be so dismissive of your heroic effort to save your niece when he failed, but, much worse, saying you failed implies he’s ashamed of who his daughter has become. And that’s unforgivable.

fallingintopolkadots wrote:

NTA. It IS his fault that he didn't get to raise her. I, for one, think niece was better off in your care, because dad is clearly s*xist.

OP is NTA here, he just said what needed to be said in the moment.

Sources: Reddit
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