'AITA for not making an effort to increase my child support payments?'
"AITA for not making an effort to increase my child support payments?"
I got divorced five years ago and I lost a lot. My ex got the apartment and our car. I was okay with it because she had our children and I wanted everything to be as stable as possible for them. I ended up moving in with my grandmother to make ends meet.
My ex and I were doing a decent job of being co-parents I think. I spent a lot of time with my kids and I have never missed a child support payment. My grandmother became ill a while back and I was basically her caregiver. She made it through but it knocked her on her a&^. She passed away about two months ago.
I am an only child but my parents are both irresponsible which is why they couldn't help me out when I needed somewhere to live. My grandmother made me her main beneficiary when she passed away. All that she said was to take care of my kids.
I sold her house after I gave everyone their bequests. I took the money and the rest of the estate and I bought myself a house and a car. Her house was old and not in a great neighborhood for kids. I also put money into my children's education fund.
When my ex found out what I did she got upset. She said that I owed her more child support now. I checked with my lawyer before I did anything. Money from an inheritance, the sale a house, or a lottery win does not count as income. If I had invested the money instead then the interest would count as income.
She thinks I intentionally screwed her over. I think I now have a good reliable car for work and a nice, small house in a good neighborhood for when I have the kids with me. We are fighting about it but I don't think I'm in the wrong. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought of this.
INFO. How much do you currently pay in child support and for how many children?
Quiet-Claim-6195 OP responded:
What the government says I should.
YTA because you received a lot of money in one go and you could have thought about your children who live with their mother. Even if you put money into their education fund, you could have made a small gesture towards their mother and improved their quality of life. Everything you've done has no impact on the children, so don't pretend that the car or the house are for them.
Quiet-Claim-6195 OP responded:
If I didn't have kids I would have taken the money and moved to the Philippines and retired.
dittohead writes:
You're NTA. It sounds like you spent several years living tight, sharing an apartment with your grandmother, taking care of her, etc. You certainly weren't living high on the hog then, and you aren't now.
You bought a small home and a reliable car, both things that will benefit your kids. You put money in their education funds. It sounds like you're being really responsible with the money and she's just mad that she doesn't benefit from it.
It's not like you came into a huge fortune and bought a beach condo and private plane. (Even if you had, you still wouldn't owe your ex squat, for our purposes here. I hope your lawyer is correct.)
Quiet-Claim-6195 OP responded:
My grandmother's house was safe and cozy. It just wasn't in a great neighborhood.
alorisdanden writes:
NTA. Sorry not sorry, but your EX is just mad that SHE isn't getting money, not your kids. Ignorance of the law is no excuse. You talked to the lawyer, everything is on the up and up. So she is gonna have to suck it up and stop being jealous. You have a right to have a nice home and a car, especially for your kids.
potatochips8910 writes:
NTA. I'm sorry about your loss but I'm glad you are doing better at least financially speaking You did nothing wrong, you were just trying to get your life back together and you even thought about your kids school fund If I were you, I'd request 50/50 custody now that you have a nice place to live. Your ex sounds bitter and greedy.