Man gets revenge on 'nosy' mother by publicly announcing his wife's miscarriage. AITA?
"AITA for just posting 'My wife miscarried' on my mom's social media?"
My wife was pregnant with our first child. We weren't telling anyone yet because it was early. My mom was over at our house and noticed some obvious clues of pregnancy.
She asked about it and we were honest. We also asked her to please respect our wishes and not go telling people because it was early in the pregnancy and we wanted time to ourselves to absorb it.
The pregnancy was unplanned but welcome. My mom lasted two weeks before she started posting about becoming a grandmother. We hadn't told her yet we lost the baby. I was still feeling dead inside when I saw her post so I just commented that 'Elise miscarried a week ago'.
I guess it took about an hour for my mom to see the comment and delete her post. We have been getting condolences, which we don't want, and my mom has been getting crapped on by friends and family for being so insensitive. She is mad at me for not telling her that we had lost her grandchild.
I think I was an AH because I replied that I didn't want her blabbing my family's personal life again. She is crying and my dad says that I have every right to be upset but that I could have been nicer. I'm just so angry right now I don't know how to feel. AITA?
Let's see what readers had to say.
actofencouragement writes:
NTA. So, let me get this straight. Your mom, against your wishes, started posting publicly your private information, so, you commented that private information was no longer a reality.
In less of a summary, she ruined all your wishes, apparently had no idea what happened because she didn't call to follow up or check up on you or your wife, and in a moment of anger, you told her, very tactfully, I might add, that she shared that information prematurely.
I wouldn't share any information with her ever - she's completely breached every ounce of trust I have in her, and I don't know her. She shared something that isn't hers to share. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I wouldn't blame you for going LC for a while while you recover.
insidead7 writes:
YTA. You couldn’t have talk to her in private? I don’t understand what you were trying to accomplish by posting that comment in social media. It only brought more attention to yourself and your mother.
bananapineapple8 writes:
NTA - You're grieving and in shock. And she went against your wishes and common sense. Could you have been less blunt? Under normal circumstances, yeah. But these aren't normal circumstances.
And your lack of tact, or whatever you want to call it, is totally understandable. She blindsided you at a very emotional time. The fact that she didn't know about the miscarriage doesn't erase her transgression in posting about the pregnancy.
My condolences. Don't be too hard on yourself. Give yourself time. Focus on your relationship with your wife. Mom can absolutely wait.