Man scolds 'lazy' SIL's 'out of control' kids and bans them from his new house. AITA?
When this man scolds his SIL's 'out of control' kid, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for having a stern talking to of my SIL's kid due to his bad behavior?'
SIL is mad at me. Big angry. I have a SIL who is a very laid back mother of energetic young boys, 6 and 8. One is fine, but the other onoy listens after the 5th time of telling him no. And usually after something gets broken. I personally can't stand to be around the kid due to this behavior and they give me such a headache.
Out to dinner? Shouting. Running around. Touching everything. Putting their hands in my food. Kid has no boundaries and is very very seldom every told no or scolded for his behavior on any occasion.
SIL usually just laughs and moves on without thinking of how his actions effect others.
We visit my mother often because she has a pool and we invite the boys over. They have been there many times. About 80-90% of the time, he breaks something there. I understand accidents happen but when it's almost every single time and based on his other behavior, its not an accident.
He does this to get attention and because he hates being told no. If told no he tries to sneak. No you can't eat the cookies, he will steal them behind your back to eat or just throw them on the floor, etc. Temper like whoa.
The last time they were at my mother's he was on his way out and decided to run upstairs for no reason to pet the dogs but we told him not to and to leave them alone.
Again, we said it like 3 times before he finally stopped and stomped down the stairs where he knocked over a vase and it broke on the tile floor. SIL never yells or corrects them, she just stood there and didn't even acknowledge it broke, as usual.
Had enough. Stopped him where he stood and said very forcefully to look at me while I talk to him. Explained that he needs to listen to the grown ups and that his behavior is rude and unacceptable and that this is not his house and he has to follow rules.
I ended the talking to with saying it's for his own protection because look, now there is broken glass on the floor and you and your brother are barefoot from the pool. I was VERY stern in my talking.
Then on the way out he let the dog out the door and it ran down the street and I had to run my ass off to go chase it. He knows not to leave the doors open due to that and knowing his sneaky attitude I'm sure he did on purpose to say 'f you' to me.
SIL proceed to talk to my wife while I was running after the dog and tell her she doesn't appreciate me talking to her kids like that and I'm never to speak to them again in such a manner, etc etc.
AITA? Also we just bought a new house and I don't want that kid to come over here. I don't at all. But wife is mad and says we need to invite them etc. I know something will get broken. Meh.
Let's see what readers had to say.
solothrowaway8 writes:
OP, you might have a fight on your hands with regards to inviting them to or banning them from your house. Coz it's also your wife's house. But you can stop inviting them to YOUR mother's house. No more pool parties for SIL and her destructive son until he's taught to respect other people's property. NTA.
iamadumbit writes:
Definitely NTA. It takes a village to raise a kid and if the mother of the child doesn’t do it she can’t be mad when others in the family do it for her. Especially when it’s at someone else’s house. I wouldn’t want her and that kid in my house either. I get that your wife feels obligated to invite them over but it’s unreasonable to get mad at you for setting boundaries.
amberallday writes:
YTA for continually inflicting this child and his AH mom on to your mother more than once.
Why wasn’t there a conversation after the first visit with bad behavior: this is not ok, if it happens again you won’t be invited back.Or is it that your mum genuinely doesn’t mind the behaviour - in which case YTA for telling the child off when the owner of the house wasn’t worried.
I don’t see how you can ban this child & mother from your new house when you let them repeatedly visit a house that you don’t own.