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'AITA for telling my kid's nosey teacher to stop fishing for information?'

'AITA for telling my kid's nosey teacher to stop fishing for information?'

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"AITA for telling my kid's teacher to stop 'fishing' for information that's none of her business?"

I'm raising an 8yo boy who is technically my nephew though we are not biologically related. It's a complicated story. He's been with me since he was 5 and calls me Uncle Mike.

His teacher, Miss L, has been complaining about his behavior. I asked for examples and then asked her if other boys in her class displayed the same behavior because it sounds like typical 3rd grade boy behavior (ie not paying attention, talking too much).

We really weren't making any progress until she asked me about Aidan's home life. I thought she was going to ask about his sleeping habits. She said 'well meant about his parents.' I asked her if this whole thing was an excuse to dig for personal information and if it was, then she's a sorry excuse for a teacher and a human being.

She was taken aback by my comment and said she didn't know if there was something she should know about. I told her if she has something to say, then say it. Do not waste my time by asking to meet me under false pretenses just so you can fish out why I'm raising my nephew. It's none of her business.

She said she'd try again when I was not so emotional and I said try again when you're not so nosy.

Today she apologized for everything and said there was no excuse for 'knowing things' that she didn't need to know. She said she wanted to start over. I think she expected me to apologize and I didn't. I told her I don't hold grudges and apology accepted.

My brother and his partner adopted Aidan at birth. Both of them are away for a very long time. I wasn't going to let Aidan go into foster care so I took him in. He's doing quite well.

From the comments:

MaybeAWalrus writes:

YTA. The teacher is trying to help your child. Knowing his background can be very helpful and enlightening.

She is not trying to 'fish' information. She is trying to understand why your child his acting the way he acts so she can plan her interventions betters and make sure she doesn't make thing worst by making bad interventions with him. Stop fighting her : she is not your enemy, she is your ally.

The teacher was trying to get more info in order to do better interventions with the kids. If a kid is having a bad behaviour because he is rotten spoiled and his parents are a**holes, her interventions will be more stern and punitive.

If the kids misbehaved on a monday, and the teacher knows very well that the kid just spent a traumatic weekend with her abusive parents, then she will use patience and kindness with him. The way you handle an entitled child IS NOT the same way you handle a traumatized child.

Neither_Tomatillo_57 OP says:

How does he need help?

SluttyHufflepuff writes:

As an ex educator, this is the exact answer based off the retelling of that interaction. Dude needs to chill out and look inward for why he’s so defensive. YTA.

Neither_Tomatillo_57 OP says:

No, she was nosy

health_actuary_life writes:

I am also a former educator and completely agree. You are literally trained to do this, and it is viewed as good teaching to treat a student as a whole child. YTA

Neither_Tomatillo_57 OP says:

It's none of her business.

themcjizzler writes:

He also needs to stop dismissing her concerns, if anyone knows normal kid behavior, it will be her. The meeting is because it's beyond that. She's not going to waste her time unless it's important

childofcraigslist writes:

Also, telling her about his behavior in class is not 'complaining.' Every elementary school report card includes behavioral notes so you know what to work on with your child at home. If he's being disruptive in class, it's literally the teacher's job to relay that to his guardian.

msdu5276769 writes:

She was concerned about the child and asked about their home life, and you snapped back that they are a sorry excuse for a teacher and human being? Definitely YTA.

Sources: Reddit
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