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'AITA for telling my wife that I would choose my mom over the birth of our baby?'

'AITA for telling my wife that I would choose my mom over the birth of our baby?'

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"AITA for telling my wife that I would choose my mom over the birth of our baby?"

So, to get started, I am 36m, and my wife is 33f. We are expecting our first child soon. My mother, who is 70, was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and has been hospitalized since it is so bad doctors say she will not survive since treatments aren't working well on her.

My dad died when I was young, and my mom took care of me while working two jobs so that I could have a good life. I feel I owe everything to my mother. I bought her a house and whatever she needed so that she could live her older years well since we had to struggle so much.

When I got home from work and visiting my mom, my wife and I were talking, and she asked if you got a call that I was in labor or your mom was going to die, who would you pick?

I told her I would pick my mom; she asked why, and I told her that I wanted to be there to say goodbye to my mom since I would never see her again, and so she would have somebody there in her final moments.

She got mad and said what about her and our baby I told her I would try to be there as fast as I could after my mom, but that most likely wouldn't happen, so I told her not to worry about it. She was still mad and told me to get out of the house. I left, and now I'm at my mom's house. So Reddit aita?

FYI, my wife wouldn't be alone during the birth. She would have her mom there she has said she wanted her mom there with her. Yes, I was right for leaving my house. It was either I leave, or she go, and I was not about to put my pregnant wife out of our house.

Yes, I have been there for her. I have taken off work to comfort and help her in any way she needs during this pregnancy. AITA?

Let's see what readesr thought.

naritrickster writes:

NAH. I get it from both POV. Yes, at face value, her question is selfish. But with all that could go wrong, I understand her fear and the only part that you got wrong was not understanding. It’s scary.

Just so you can get a perspective, my son was born in the NICU OR at the military hospital. He was in distress for most of my labor, depending on how I was positioned. It was scary every time those alarms would go off just because I moved. His heart rate and O2 stats would drop. Like rapidly.

Then, on the way out, he got stuck. Which, once again was terrifying because then the nurses began to panic. (Not that they showed it other than the urgency of their tones with me. I assure you though. They were kind and all of that through the entire thing).

So, from her POV, if something does go wrong and you’re not there… then she’s alone in her terror. Like I said, NAH. I get it from both POV. But the unknown for your wife is scary as hell.

pacenow4108 writes:

You got kicked out of your house for getting a hypothetical question wrong. On face value you NTA, but what is likely happening is your wife isnt feeling the support and love she really wants and needs right now. Is she a super needy controlling woman??

Or simply feeling a tad neglected? Hormonal? I think you need to consider the why she asked the question and address that--thats the problem. The hypothetical question and hurt reaction is simply how it plays out. Get out of your mom's house and go fix this.

Leaving her home alone isnt going to help--sleep out front if you need to. Bring lots of appologies too--you were not kicked out for a bad answer here--there is a feeling of loss and something missing that your wife isnt feeling and needs to as soon as possible.

Figure that out and go give it to her. And give her another version of it every day for the rest of your life. Go find out what part of love your wife doesnt think she has. Dont become a YTA and sleep at moms house!

reallife6 writes:

I’ll say NAH for the circumstance but I am leaning towards YTA for the way you handled it. As someone who is much closer to your mom’s age than your wife’s, your priority is to your wife and new child.

More often than not, dying people (somehow) wait until they are alone to die. Even though they are and have been unconscious for days they will wait for their loved ones to step out for a moment to die.

Your wife just wanted reassurance that she and the baby are number one in your life, and you didn’t give her that. Was it an immature thing for her to ask? Maybe.

But this is something you guys should have been talking about as the pregnancy progressed and your mom’s condition worsened. “I want to spend as much time with my mother as I can but of course I will be at your side as soon as labor starts” is all you needed to say.

Unless you want to be the divorced man with a child you rarely see, leave your mommy’s house and work this out with your wife!

Looks like the jury's out. What is YOUR take on the situation?

Sources: Reddit
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