When this man refuses to make special food for his niece, he asks Reddit:
My wife(36) and I(38) have decided to host thanksgiving this year. My sister, Maggie(43), just informed me yesterday that her daughter, Bria(21), is now following a gluten free diet and asked if there's anything that she'd be able to eat.
I told her that Bria can eat turkey, gravy, sweet potato casserole, and pie.
She misunderstood and told me that there was no need to change everything for her. I told her we aren't changing anything and she can eat the same food as us since it was her decision to start a restrictive diet right before the holidays.
Maggie told me that her kid will not be able to eat most of the food and I told her that isn't my problem.
She then told me that she'd be bringing some sort of special dish for her. I told her that I didn't want to make my wife uncomfortable with her competitive bullshit, because my sister has a history of doing this.
Maggie has now convinced half of my family that I'm the asshole and my wife is trying to convince me to hand thanksgiving off to someone else. AITA?
YTA - gluten free is often a health issue. She was bringing her own food. Your initial response is what makes you the AH for sure.
I have to do gluten free due to Celiac Disease. The hosts need to 1) not put gluten ingredients on the turkey and no stuffing in the turkey, 2) verify the side dishes like mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes and vegetables are gluten free and 3) allow the other family to bring gluten free stuffing, gravy and a dessert!
YTA. Even if the sister has been 'dramatic' in the past, that doesn't make this request illegitimate.
mainegg50 makes these great points:
YTA. This is a very petty hill to die on and you are creating unnecessary drama. The way I see it you have 4 options:
Host the dinner and don’t let them bring a separate dish. This will make you a complete AH because now one of your guests can’t eat most things and will be left out. People will definitely make an issue out of it and it will create tension.
Host the dinner and let them bring a separate dish. Worst possible outcome is your wife is offended because she doesn’t receive as much praise as you feel she deserves for her cooking while your sister does.
Host the dinner and your wife makes a few extra dishes to accommodate your niece.
Obviously it adds more work, but sister and niece are happy (hopefully) and your wife no longer has to worry about being outshone by your sister or feeling resentful that your sister is being competitive. Drama avoided.
Throw up your hands, say screw it and have someone else host. This will lead to drama later because people feel like it was your turn and you shoved it off on others for a petty reason. Choose option 2 or 3 and save yourself and everyone else the drama!!!!