Blending two families together often has the potential to raise sibling tensions. One man was upset when his wife didn't agree to his plan to let his son have his own room, while his stepdaughter would have to share a room with her 2-year-old twin stepsiblings.
My wife and I have 3 kids together, a 5 year old son and 2 year old twin daughters. My wife also has a 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship.
My wife and I love visiting a town a few hours away from us with the kids and decided this year to buy a house there. We've been looking at houses for a few months now and there's one thing we can't agree on. We can afford a 3 bed 2 bath condo walking distance from all of the shops and restaurants or a 4 bed 2-3 bath house maybe a 5-10 minute drive to everything.
I want to get the condo and have the girls in one room and my son in the other. My wife doesn't want her daughter to share a room with the twins so she either wants the 4 bedroom house or if we have to get a 3 bedroom, she wants to have the twins share with our son until we can eventually add a 4th bedroom or her daughter goes to college and won't be traveling with us as much.
I tried to compromise and find a house that has a 4th bedroom for my stepdaughter but is still walkable but my wife still doesn't like it because her daughter would be in the basement while the rest of us would be on the 2nd floor.
She says this house would isolate her daughter. Then she said she doesn't even want to be able to walk to the shops and restaurants because the double stroller is too bulky to bring into half of them, she'll have to deal with our son complaining about his feet hurting, and she can't even make that walk with the kids half the year when it's snowing.
She has a habit of spoiling her daughter and I think that's what she's doing here at my and my kids expense. AITA for wanting a house in a walkable neighborhood even if it means my stepdaughter will have to share a room?
YTA. Sorry, but it looks like you're planning to make your stepdaughter a nanny for toddlers.
Can't even fathom the mental gymnastics of trying to justify putting a kid a few years out from puberty in a room with two toddlers, and then calling it 'spoiled' because his partner doesn't want her to have to deal with that on vacation.
It's either misogyny or favoritism. Maybe both. For some reason the 5 year old male child 'deserves' it more than the child twice his age.
Well, she is just a STEPdaughter.
Edit: actually he never says that. Very notable - she isn't even called his stepdaughter, she is 'his wife's daughter'.
NTA I would prioritize a walkable house over anything else. Kids grow fast and the stroller won’t even be an issue in a few years. Go with the basement house as your compromise. In a few years the teenager will Love her privacy and ability to leave the house and hang out with friends without bumming a ride everywhere.
You outed yourself with the words “at the expense of me and MY kids” as opposed to the interloper your wife bought into the marriage. Of course your wife has to prioritize her daughter since you clearly do not. YTA.
For a vacation home? The kids can share and rotate who has to share. Or have all the kids share one room. Who cares. First world problem to the max. NTA whatever you decide.