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Man's wife makes 'crazy' financial demands; he says 'my son ALWAYS comes first.' AITA?

Man's wife makes 'crazy' financial demands; he says 'my son ALWAYS comes first.' AITA?


When this dad is upset with his new wife, he asks Reddit:

"AITA for telling my wife that my son will always come before her?"

My (32m) wife (30f) is concerned over our financial situation. I think her concern is misplaced but I told her my income isn't going to change anytime soon so I asked her what we wanted to do about it. She suggested that when my son (she is his stepmother) turns 18 we should start charging him rent.

I immediately shut down that idea and told her we would have to think of something else because there's no way I'm charging my son to live in our house. She said it was reasonable since I was paying most of his college tuition but I told her there are alternatives.

I suggested we stopped eating out so much because it's $50-$100 per meal but she didn't like that idea. I suggested other things which she rejected so I told her I'm open to suggestions but my son isn't going to be our source of income. she told me I should think more of her than my son. She's a SAHM and does a lot of the chores FYI.

That made me a little mad so I told her my son will always come before her. She called me an asshole after that and hasn't talked to me since. Did I overstep? AITA?

Let's see what readers thought.

angel2hi writes:

NTA. But I sort of think you are missing the point. You say she’s a SAHM so you have younger kids with her right?

She doesn’t want your son there. We need more money, let’s charge your son. No we can’t cut expenses from A, B, C, or D. We need to charge son rent. She has no alternative. She has no compromise. She has no suggestions. She wants to make it hard for your kid to live in your home. It might be time for a talk about more than money.

You might also want to ensure you’ve provided for your son in your will if you haven’t already. Don’t assume she will help him with what’s left to her.

wonderfulguest3005 writes:

NTA. He is your son and ultimately the decision comes down to you. Everyone has different parenting styles. Also I can see from the comments below that your wife doesn't work, so if she's really that bothered about it, she should get off her butt and do something about it.

However, your son is old enough to get a job and I personally know a lot of parents that do this. It's never an overly large amount of money, usually a certain percentage on how much they make.

My own parents did it, and there's no shame in teaching your kids the value of money and that in this life they do have to work for things. It also made budgeting as an adult easier as I had it drilled into me for such a long time.

candidquali writes:

NTA. You are being a father and the fact that she is viewing your son as an income source is concerning.

Of all the solutions she could come up with, second job, lowering expenses like you mentioned she jumped to charging your son rent. Would she do that if he was her bio kid? Sorry OP sounds like you have an issue with your wife and how she views her step kid.

Looks like OP is NTA. Any advice for him?

Sources: Reddit
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