Dad won't let daughter take meds for bedwetting, sites family 'drug abuse.' AITA?
The urge to protect your child at all costs can sometimes alter your viewpoint and have more to do with your own personal experiences.
One man took to Reddit to ask for advice about medicating his daughter. His family, including himself, has a long history of bedwetting well into their teens. This is something that he has had to deal with regarding his own children. His 9-year-old daughter's doctor is recommending medication to help. The problem is, his family also has a long history of drug abuse and he is worried medicating his daughter might be dangerous. His doctor insists that there is no way to abuse this medication but he is not convinced.
'AITAH for not letting my daughter take medication?'
My 39m and my wife 38f I have 2 great kids together 14m and 9f.
Bedwetting is hereditary in my family, I wet the bed till my teens and so did my dad, and so did both my kids, my son just stopped this year. My daughter still wets though. We have discussed it with her doctor and they say she will outgrow it like her brother and I did when she reaches about the same age.
Untill then she wears 'Goodnites' at night and they keep her dry.
But recently she had her annual checkup at the drs and she asked us if we wanted to try a trial period of medication, ( my daughter wasnt in the room at the time), we declined. But then later that night my wife told me she was thinking it might be worth a try.
She said it could help our daughter not wet the bed and save us money on 'Goodnites,' I told her it wasn't worth it because of the risks.
My family has a history of drug abuse, many of my cousins and even a few aunts and uncles struggled with addiction for many years and it was so hard watching them struggle with it so I don't like my kids taking medication because I don't want them to think that drugs are the answer to their problems.
So I don't want my daughter to take medication for her bedwetting and start to think that drugs will solve everything.
I told my wife this but she still thinks it might be worth a try and that I'm being too paranoid. I think she may have a point about it being helpful but I still dont want my daughter on any medication.
AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
Drugs that aid bed wetting don’t as far as I know have addictive properties. The low self esteem from bed wetting is more likely to result in depression that she might turn to drugs to self medicate.
I don’t want to say you’re the AH here, but this is a conversation to have with the doctor. Look at the side effects. Discuss with your wife and be open to it.
https://www.urologyhealth.org/urologic-conditions/bed-wetting-(enuresis)
Your child has a gene mutation that causes her brain and endocrine system to not produce enough of the hormone that keeps her from peeing in her sleep. I would recommend reconsidering your stance.
I read the title and thought 'oh gads, another person is a denier of adhd and thinks their child just needs to focus'. The I read the rest and thought 'oh gads, this guy thinks because he struggled with enuresis, his child will be ok to do so too.'
This will start affecting her mental health if it hasn't already. If you don't give it a chance and give your child an opportunity to have some comparative normlcy to her peers you would definitely be the a**hole.
YTA. If she continues the bed wetting it’s going to take a major hit to her self esteem. I’d be more worried about someone with low self esteem getting mixed up with drugs later down the road.
Is her doctor concerned about addiction? Do what’s right for your child please and bring your concerns to the doctor so they can help you.
YTA, ask your teen son if he could have had a medication to help him when he was 9, would he be happy you refused it on his behalf? He just stopped at age 13? He was 13 in diapers.
Gonna guess he would say he would have done anything to have it stopped when he was 9. Your reasoning is flawed. Medications are for specific purposes, they are tools to help the body when it is not working properly. This is not a recreational substance. Your child will not grow up and abuse the “I’m not gonna piss the bed” medication.
YTA. You have an option to improve your daughter's quality of life, and you're choosing not to help her. I'm way more concerned with her mental health and the stigma of having to wear pull ups at age 9 than her taking meds.
Does she shower every morning before school? Is she able to have sleepovers with friends? How does your daughter feel about trying medicine to help her with bedwetting? She's 9, and she deserves to have a say in the way her medical issue is handled.
I think you are painting all meds with the same brush and if this is a potential solution, you should let her try it. You're setting a dangerous precedent by raising her to think the way you do. Yes some meds are addictive but not all...not most, in fact...and denying her the quality of life upgrade meds could provide is a questionable thing for a parent to do, to put it kindly.
You're also instilling a mindset that she shouldnt trust or try medication, which is dangerous. Are you going to say the same thing if she needs antidepressands or medication for anxiety? YTA.