When this mom is conflicted, she asks Reddit:
I (30f) have an 8 year old daughter Ryan with my ex boyfriend Greg (30m). His wife Olivia (27f) has been with him for about 4 years and Ryan seems to like her.
Olivia is into a bunch of weird things. She’s an actress and was a competitive cheerleader so now Ryan does those things. She does yoga so now Ryan does yoga.
Shes all about pink and rhinestones (even her car is like a Barbie car but shes almost 30) and now my daughter is walking around with sparkles and JoJo Siwa bows.
They go to the spa every week. She’s weird about food and they only buy organic products with the occasional treats thrown in & food outings. Ryan comes home (2 weeks on 2 weeks off) always talking about how this is healthy and that isn’t, Olivia said this & Olivia said that.
It’s weird it’s like Olivia thinks she’s her little doll. Ryan was never into these things before Olivia and now it’s like she’s a completely different person. She even wants to lock her hair like Olivia’s (we’re black). I don’t want my daughter to turn into a snob.
Now Olivia is getting Ryan into crystals, sage, meditation & things like that. I feel like as her mother I should have a say in what she does when it comes to something like this.
She brought her to a crystal shop & let her pick some “protection stones” to put in a necklace that they “blessed”. They sage every Sunday & she even has tarot cards and “chakra” candles.
They go to the beach and “thank the water” or go to the woods and “thank the trees” It’s really bizarre I could go on forever.
I spoke to Olivia and told her for the 50th time to stop trying to make Ryan into something she’s not and that forcing a spirituality on her is not happening full stop. She claims she’s been doing this forever and Ryan was curious, so she asked Greg and he said it was okay.
I told her this stuff isn’t even real and I refuse to have my daughter involved in yet another one of her BS hobbies.
She claims she’s teaching her to appreciate life and to be more giving to others, not be ungrateful etc etc but I don’t see how that applies.
Greg said I was out of line and told me if I paid more attention Ryan has always been into all these new things and Olivia is just someone she’s really connecting with because they are into the same things.
I know my child and he’s just defending Olivia as usual. AITA? I feel like the spiritual stuff is crossing the line. Who knows what kind of weird energy that could bring? Or weird mindset?
Soft YTA. You sound jealous. But it cracks me up that 'this stuff isn't even real' yet 'Who knows what kind of weird energy that could bring'. I have a feeling that the more you try to control your daughter the further she will drift from you.
YTA. I think you're making a lot of assumptions that Olivia is 'forcing' all of these things on Ryan. Maybe Ryan just looks up to Olivia and wanted to try stuff she's into, not uncommon for an 8 year old.
You've seen a change in Ryan since Olivia entered the picture? Of course you have. She's got a new person as part of her family who she likes and clearly has an interest in having a good relationship with her and bonding on things they can both enjoy.