'AITA for 'ruining Christmas' by being 'entitled' to my sons toys?'
"AITA for 'ruining Christmas' by being 'entitled' to my sons toys?"
So i very much might be TA here, but here's the situation. Me (24f) and my fiance (26m) went to his mothers for christmas eve today as we're going to my mothers for christmas day. we did our gift exchange and my son (2.5 years) got some great toys including some duplo which we were so grateful for as we’ve wanted to get him some for a while!
we were packing up getting ready so we can head off after lunch and i hear my MIL yell "No! those are staying here!" I was confused and thought maybe i'd packed something that is hers so i asked for clarification and she stated that the gifts that herself and my BIL purchased were to stay here as “grandmas house toys."
i responded with "i appreciate that you purchased them but they've been gifted to him therefore they should be at his house so he can play with them whenever he wants!" her response was "i payed for them so they're mine and i want them to stay here so he can play with them here." Like really? An argument with my MIL on Christmas?
Keep in mind he doesn't often go to my MILs house, maybe once every few months, and she's also very strict about how he plays so he likely wouldn't even be allowed to play with them however he wants (they're a big duplo set)...
she wants everything to be tidy (which is of course fair enough) but because of that he's not allowed to pour all his toys out and play with them the way he wants so i ended up just putting them back on the table and leaving.
Now my BIL just called me yelling about how i "ruined christmas" and that i was "entitled and rude" and maybe i was. at the end of the day she did pay for them but am i really wrong for thinking that they’re his toys and he should be able to have them at his house? AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
calamityclambake writes:
NTA. What kind of monster gives a kid a Duplo set for Christmas and then doesn't allow him to take it home? Your MIL is a piece of work! "Here DIL! I got you a meltdown for Christmas! God bless!' I'm so sorry.
Time to draw some hard boundaries around time spent with MIL, or this will only get worse. How did your spouse react when their MIL pulled this nonsense?
he wasn’t around then the conflict happened, he was outside at the car. when i told him what happened he was grumpy with them. he’s going to message her when he’s no longer driving.
oiklyk writes:
NTA. Whilst grandma may have paid for them, once she gifted them to your son, she no longer had any aim to them and no right to stipulate where the toys reside. If she wants there to be toys in her house, she should buy toys for her house. I can't imagine gifting a toy to a child then telling them they couldn't take it away to play with whenever they want.
And your BIL is being ridiculous. "ruining Christmas!"? Good grief, he sounds like a massive TA. Question: where was your fiance in all of this? Why did he not speak up and why was all the abuse hurled at you and not him as well? Is he not advocating for his sons and partner?
nicoled84 writes:
NTA. My MIL does this a bit too. She babysits our kids so it makes sense to keep toys there and it’s fine theoretically that she’s gifting things at her house to stay at her house, but I’ll put something their Amazon list, she buys it, then insists it stays at her house.
Stuff can stay but she needs to come up with her own gift ideas instead of taking mine for herself. Last Christmas my middle kept asking to play with a Bluey house at home so I put one on the list. MIL bought it and insisted she keep it, but the kicker is she already had one at her house! Why does she need two???