Parenting

<h2>AITA for organizing a sleepover for my daughter on the same exact day as another kids sleepover in her class?</h2><blockquote> <p>I (f25) have a daughter ( f8) that&rsquo;s in the second grade and was recently invited to sleepover by a classmate.. my daughter handed me the invitation from her classmate that we will call her lily and I was on board for her to go..but my daughter told me she&rsquo;s sad because she can&rsquo;t tell her best friend she&rsquo;s going because she&rsquo;s not invited</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I tried to assure her that maybe there isn&rsquo;t enough space..then my daughter corrected me and said &ldquo; no lily told me she couldn&rsquo;t come because she isn&rsquo;t like us&rdquo;.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>For context my daughter&rsquo;s best friend is African American&hellip;so when she said that I felt like their is maybe an undertone there. So I followed up with my daughter with her class photo and I told her to point to all the girls that were invited and wouldn&rsquo;t you know it&hellip;they were all white.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>So to further investigate my notions I decided to look up lily&rsquo;s parents FB and I seen quite a few problematic post. So to me the decision became final my daughter wasn&rsquo;t going. I decided to call my friend who was also parent and I asked her did her daughter get invited to lily&rsquo;s birthday and she told me no. Which I already assumed she didn&rsquo;t because she&#39;s of Arab descent.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I told her everything i discovered and we came up with a plan to have a party the same exact day but to great wolf lodge and we invited everyone in the class.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Of course lily&rsquo;s mom found out and she Facebook messaged me and she asked if I can move the party since 2 of the girls who were originally going to lily&rsquo;s told them they couldn&rsquo;t make it but instead their coming to our party. I then came up with a lie that I can&rsquo;t move it and it&rsquo;s non-refundable.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;m starting to feel bad because I never want to ruin a child&rsquo;s birthday party so should I just cancel it or should I continue to make my point. Some parents from other classes think I&rsquo;m asshole for this. So I&rsquo;m asking you guys AITA?</p> </blockquote><h2>Here&#39;s what people had to say:</h2><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ThriftyLizzie27/">ThriftyLizzie27</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>YTA- Because you automatically are making assumptions based on race and purposely creating drama.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ContentedRecluse/">ContentedRecluse</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>I feel like this 8 year old girl who is the birthday girl is getting hurt here for something that is not her fault. It doesn&#39;t sound like they had that many guests invited.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>You then had to lie to cover for the plan to ruin a kid&#39;s birthday. All this could have been avoided by declining the invitation, and having her best friend spend the night, and you could have arranged a really great sleepover. You could have even invited the Arabic girl since you spoke to her mother and made her aware of the issue.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>YTA for overreacting to the situation, and overcorrecting.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/GottaLaunderMyKarma2/">GottaLaunderMyKarma2</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>I never had to throw a Great Wolf Lodge party to teach my kids our values, so I can&rsquo;t relate.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Can I ask, if you are convinced the exclusion of some girls was racially motivated, why was it easier to spread that narrative around to so many other parents who weren&rsquo;t all even aware of the party than to address it with the parents who are the ones throwing the party? Did you say to them that their daughter said Lily is not &ldquo;like us&rdquo; and that for that reason your daughter won&rsquo;t be going over there?</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/GottaLaunderMyKarma2/">GottaLaunderMyKarma2</a> writes:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>YTA. You assume to know why the invites went to some girls and not others, and you might very well be right, but it&rsquo;s still an assumption. If you don&rsquo;t want your daughter going to a house with those beliefs, good on you. RSVP no. But you chose to get a bunch of other parents involved, even from other classes, and now it&rsquo;s going to be an all out war.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/LoFiMuf/">LoFiMuf</a> writes:</p><blockquote> <p>That poor birthday girl is paying a price because a set of adults can&#39;t figure out how to actually adult.</p> </blockquote><h2>Response to comments from OP:</h2><blockquote> <p>There are 13 girls in my daughters class, 8 of these girls are white (including my daughter). The 5 that were NOT invited are POC, so don&rsquo;t come at me saying I&rsquo;m over reacting when the evidence is clear as day. And also don&rsquo;t come say &ldquo;well lily might just have been close with those 8 girls.&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I can&rsquo;t speak for those other girls but my daughter never told me about lily until this party fiasco and she never hung with her outside of school. Also I wouldn&rsquo;t of been doing all of this if my friend (the one I&rsquo;m planning it with) wasn&rsquo;t upset&hellip;I presented her with the information and she was pissed and hurt about everything I said to her. So yes I will be an asshole for this.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Also let me add I feel like it isn&rsquo;t my place to determine if something is racist or not because me and my daughter are as white as they come and I&rsquo;m still having trouble figuring out how I tell her about this...</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>But I just feel like this situation left a really bad taste in my mouth and I wouldn&rsquo;t feel comfortable leaving my daughter in the car of someone with such prejudice views plus my daughter never hangs with lily and this would of been her first time hanging out outside of school.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Mom asks if she was wrong to organize inclusive sleepover for excluded kids.

AITA for organizing a sleepover for my daughter on the same exact day as another kids sleepover in her class? I (f25) have a daughter ( f8) that&rsquo;s in the second grade and was recently invited to sleepover by a classmate.. my daughter handed me the invitation from her classmate that we will call her lily and I was on board for her to go..but my daughter told me she&rsquo;s sad because she can&rsquo;t tell her best friend she&rsquo;s going because she&rsquo;s not invited  I tried to assure her that maybe there isn&rsquo;t enough space..then my daughter corrected me and said &ldquo; no lily told me she couldn&rsquo;t come because she isn&rsquo;t like us&rdquo;.  For context my daughter&rsquo;s best friend is African American&hellip;so when she said that I felt like their is maybe an undertone there. So I followed up with my daughter with her class photo and I told her to point to all the girls that were invited and wouldn&rsquo;t you know it&hellip;they were all white.  So to further investigate my notions I decided to look up lily&rsquo;s parents FB and I seen quite a few problematic post. So to me the decision became final my daughter wasn&rsquo;t going. I decided to call my friend who was also parent and I asked her did her daughter get invited to lily&rsquo;s birthday and she told me no. Which I already assumed she didn&rsquo;t because she&#39;s of Arab descent.  I told her everything i discovered and we came up with a plan to have a party the same exact day but to great wolf lodge and we invited everyone in the class.  Of course lily&rsquo;s mom found out and she Facebook messaged me and she asked if I can move the party since 2 of the girls who were originally going to lily&rsquo;s told them they couldn&rsquo;t make it but instead their coming to our party. I then came up with a lie that I can&rsquo;t move it and it&rsquo;s non-refundable.  I&rsquo;m starting to feel bad because I never want to ruin a child&rsquo;s birthday party so should I just cancel it or should I continue to make my point. Some parents from other classes think I&rsquo;m asshole for this. So I&rsquo;m asking you guys AITA? Here&#39;s what people had to say:ThriftyLizzie27 writes: YTA- Because you automatically are making assumptions based on race and purposely creating drama. ContentedRecluse writes: I feel like this 8 year old girl who is the birthday girl is getting hurt here for something that is not her fault. It doesn&#39;t sound like they had that many guests invited.  You then had to lie to cover for the plan to ruin a kid&#39;s birthday. All this could have been avoided by declining the invitation, and having her best friend spend the night, and you could have arranged a really great sleepover. You could have even invited the Arabic girl since you spoke to her mother and made her aware of the issue.  YTA for overreacting to the situation, and overcorrecting. GottaLaunderMyKarma2 writes: I never had to throw a Great Wolf Lodge party to teach my kids our values, so I can&rsquo;t relate.  Can I ask, if you are convinced the exclusion of some girls was racially motivated, why was it easier to spread that narrative around to so many other parents who weren&rsquo;t all even aware of the party than to address it with the parents who are the ones throwing the party? Did you say to them that their daughter said Lily is not &ldquo;like us&rdquo; and that for that reason your daughter won&rsquo;t be going over there? GottaLaunderMyKarma2 writes: YTA. You assume to know why the invites went to some girls and not others, and you might very well be right, but it&rsquo;s still an assumption. If you don&rsquo;t want your daughter going to a house with those beliefs, good on you. RSVP no. But you chose to get a bunch of other parents involved, even from other classes, and now it&rsquo;s going to be an all out war. LoFiMuf writes: That poor birthday girl is paying a price because a set of adults can&#39;t figure out how to actually adult. Response to comments from OP: There are 13 girls in my daughters class, 8 of these girls are white (including my daughter). The 5 that were NOT invited are POC, so don&rsquo;t come at me saying I&rsquo;m over reacting when the evidence is clear as day. And also don&rsquo;t come say &ldquo;well lily might just have been close with those 8 girls.&rdquo;  I can&rsquo;t speak for those other girls but my daughter never told me about lily until this party fiasco and she never hung with her outside of school. Also I wouldn&rsquo;t of been doing all of this if my friend (the one I&rsquo;m planning it with) wasn&rsquo;t upset&hellip;I presented her with the information and she was pissed and hurt about everything I said to her. So yes I will be an asshole for this.  Also let me add I feel like it isn&rsquo;t my place to determine if something is racist or not because me and my daughter are as white as they come and I&rsquo;m still having trouble figuring out how I tell her about this...  But I just feel like this situation left a really bad taste in my mouth and I wouldn&rsquo;t feel comfortable leaving my daughter in the car of someone with such prejudice views plus my daughter never hangs with lily and this would of been her first time hanging out outside of school. 

AITA for organizing a sleepover for my daughter on the same exact day as another kids sleepover in her class?   I (f25) have a daughter ( f8) that&rsquo;s in the second grade and was recently invited to sleepover by a classmate.. my...