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Mom brags about daughter's perfect grades, gets told to 'shut up' by sister and grandma.

Mom brags about daughter's perfect grades, gets told to 'shut up' by sister and grandma.


If you can't even cheerlead your own kid, then what's the point of all the hard work of parenting?

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a mom asked if she was wrong for bragging about her daughter. She wrote:

"AITA for bragging about my daughter?"

My daughter (16F), is very smart and doesn’t treat that lightly, she pushes herself as far as she can go.

She’s in all the AP classes her school offers, she takes three electives (social studies, economics, and computer science) and one self-study elective (law, my husband is a lawyer so he helps her), she takes two second languages outside of the mandatory English one (English is a second language in my country. She takes Italian and Russian).

Obviously, I’m very proud of her for doing all of this and I talk about it A LOT. This has never been a problem until recently at a family dinner I was telling my mom about my daughter's recent 100% in AP math when my sister snapped at me to shut up about my daughter already and that she’s not that special.

I was shocked because my sister was always one of my daughter’s biggest supporters. I don’t remember her saying one bad thing about my daughter before this.

My mom tried to calm my sister down but her face was red which was a big tell about how mad she was, she scolded me for bragging about my daughter's accomplishments when I know how her daughter was just kicked out (her words) from AP math for a few too many bad grades.

I didn’t know about it, she never told me but she obviously told my mom since she was on her side. I apologized because I wanted to keep the peace but I guess it was obvious that I was still confused because she just kept scolding me. After a minute of sitting there my husband just excused us and we left. I’ve been getting texts from relatives berating me for insulting my niece like that.

I’m so confused but no one listened when I try to say that I don’t know. I’m starting to really feel bad and I think I should apologize again and talk to my sister but I need to know, AITA?

The internet shared their earnest thoughts.

pupperoni42 wrote:

Gentle Y T A for bragging too much to the wrong audience and for not reading the room. Save the extra bragging for when it's just the grandparents, not other parents whose kids aren't at the same level of accomplishments.

ESH is my formal vote because your sister crossed the line by falsely telling other relatives that you were actually insulting her daughter. I have super smart kids as well. It's really nice to have a friend group of parents of other smart kiddos so we can share accomplishments without it being viewed as overly bragging.

And they understand the unique struggles as well and don't misinterpret it as bragging when you're genuinely venting about how difficult it is to jump through all the hips for dual enrollment so your kid can take math at the college since they've run out of coursework at the high school. I'd suggest trying to find other families to connect with so you have a similar community.

kawaibonsai wrote:

YTA read the room, you must have known your niece isn't as academically gifted. Is it really surprising your sister doesn't want to hear about how smart your daughter is all the time? In my family, I was your daughter with a cousin much like your niece.

My parents understood it was hard for my aunt, uncle, and cousin, so while we did share my accomplishments, we never bragged or went on about it all the time. Even I understood and had empathy as a teen, but you apparently can't?

SophisticatedScreams wrote:

Food for thought: my mom used to brag about my sister's AP courses the way you do about your daughter. Sis had a mental breakdown and flunked out of school. Didn't get her GED until her 30s. If your daughter loves learning, cool. But stop conflating your love for/pride in her with her academic achievements. It's a recipe for burnout. YTA.

granolablairew wrote:

YTA. I got tired just reading the first paragraph. We get it. Your daughter is perfect.

OP is definitely TA here, even if she didn't realize the extent of her niece's school troubles.

Sources: Reddit
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