Mom called out for letting 8-yr-old daughter watch baby, catches husband doing the same.

No one likes a double standard, and sadly, they're hard to fully avoid in life. However, a close relationship - like a marriage, should ideally be a space where you're able to find an equitable arrangement.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she's wrong for being mad over the double standards in her marriage. She wrote:

"AITA for being mad over double standards in my marriage?"

A week ago I asked my daughter (8) to quickly watch her brother (10 months) while I picked up some things from the floor that I had been working on during his nap. She rarely gets asked to watch him as I feel that he is my job not hers.

Hubby came home and saw that she was watching baby and went off on me about how I was irresponsible, accidents happen quickly and she wouldn't know what to do in a choking event. These are all reasonable fears so I made the necessary changes to ensure I am there to watch him at all times. Today (Sunday) I asked him to watch baby as I started baking a large order.

I came in to the room and noticed he was alone watching TV. I asked him where baby was and he replied that our daughter was watching him in her bedroom. Her bedroom is on the opposite side of the house, and with the TV blaring you could definitely NOT hear what was going on in her room.

I pointed out to him how he yelled at me last week for the same thing and he replied "That was different" When asked how, he replied "she wants to look after him, she came to ask me if she could" I was so mad. I didn't leave them alone for prolonged periods of time.

I was literally in and out of the room during all of that time as I was cleaning up, but that was neglectful and dangerous because I asked her to watch baby. While at the same time it is perfectly ok for her to be left, completely alone, rooms away, with the tv on, because she asked to watch him so somehow that would mean that she pays closer attention to him?

Like accidents don't happen when you choose to look after a baby? He is now mad at me, saying I am overreacting and that I am still in the wrong while he is not. I accept that I was wrong in asking her to watch him, but am I wrong for being mad about the double standards?

People had lots to say about OP's dynamic with her husband.

JojoCruz206 wrote:

NTA. Rules for thee and not for me.

He’s clearly applying a double standard and doubling down when confronted.

snowednboston wrote:

NTA “Hubby” needs to stop babysitting his kid and start parenting his children.

Illustrious-Shirt569 wrote:

NTA. If it’s not safe in his mind, it’s not safe whether your daughter wants to do it or not. He’s absolutely in the wrong for being inconsistent when it benefits him.

EricJS1965 wrote:

If hubby wants to talk out of his @$$ rationalizing his blatant double standard, he should probably remove his head from that ass first so that his hypocrisy and misogyny can be heard more clearly.

LaG1122 wrote:

NTA, he is. An 8-year-old watching a 10-month-old while you are still in the house is fine for a short period of time. No difference in what he did.

OP is NTA here, but her husband is a big one.