Mom calls 8yo daughter 'selfish'; says, 'this is why you have no friends.' AITA?
There's no singular way to parent, but that doesn't stop people getting into arguments over the one good parenting style. While it would be nice to think of parenting as a shopping trip where you pick a style and philosophy, it's a lot more like a choose-your-own-adventure where you're constantly navigating individual situations.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a mom asked if she's wrong for calling her 8-year-old selfish during a trip to the zoo.
She wrote:
AITA for calling my 8-year-old selfish?
I have 3 kids (7, 8, 10) and my sister has 2 (7 and 10). We went on vacation together recently and we took the kids to a zoo that also had a few rides. The kids went on the rides while my sister and I got coffee nearby. We told them to meet us at a certain table when they were done. My 8-year-old came to me much earlier than her siblings/cousins.
I asked if the rides scared her and she said no, she just skipped the lines. I asked for clarification and she said when there was extra space on the ride, they asked for single riders to come up to the front so she did that for all 5 rides. I told her the point of her going with her siblings and cousins is to have fun with them and that it was selfish for her to leave them so she could cut the line.
I told her I understand why she doesn’t have many friends if this is how she acts all the time and she started to cry and ran to my sister. My sister ended up buying her ice cream and said that I was too harsh. She told my husband and he’s mad at me for speaking to her like that. AITA for calling my daughter selfish?
People had plenty of thoughts about the situation.
DarthDringal wrote:
I would 100% say you’re the AH. The kid is f#$king 8. Instead of treating this is a teaching moment you tell your own child “I get why you have no friends”
The hell is wrong with you?
FuzzyMom2005 wrote:
YTA. First, I think the kids were too young to just let go on their own. They were nearby, but not in eyesight. That's not good. Second, there was an odd number which isn't good for rides. She took the single rider.
They all could have. She was faster. Third, what an awful, awful thing to say to a child. She didn't cut the line. She wasn't selfish. And I bet she has a lot of friends. Way to drive your kid away from you.
Heloise_Morris wrote:
YTA. Your daughter did not 'cut in line' she volunteered when the ride operator asked for single riders. The point of vacation is to relax and enjoy yourselves. Your daughter did nothing wrong, quite frankly she's a pretty smart cookie. Just because her idea of fun isn't the same as yours doesn't give you the right to insult your child.
'I told her I understand why she doesn’t have many friends if this is how she acts all the time and she started to cry and ran to my sister.' Yep, YTA, all right.
DesertSong-LaLa wrote:
YTA. Your words were cruel and in appropriate. Insulting her like a mean girl does not inspire her to change. You scorched her world with this one.
I told her I understand why she doesn’t have many friends if this is how she acts all the time and she started to cry and ran to my sister.
sheramom4 wrote:
YTA. The kid has the confidence and independence to ride by herself. She doesn't need her siblings or cousins to hold her hand and was having fun. Your words were cruel and unnecessary. She didn't cut the line. The other kids just didn't take advantage of an opportunity.
OP is a giant AH, both for treating her daughter that way and for not keeping a better eye on the kids.