Mom makes son go to his sister's dance recital despite saying his 'stomach hurts.' AITA?
"AITA for making my son sit through my daughter's dance recital?"
My daughter “Amelia” (18F) is a ballet dancer, and will be going to a prestigious dance school when she graduates. Last week she had a recital at a local church.
Obviously she wanted family and friends there, as it was a crowning moment for her. She especially wanted my son (15M) to be there (they are very close). My son promised he would come. About 30 minutes before we were set to go he complained to me that his stomach hurt.
Now “my stomach hurts” is the oldest kid excuse in the world, so I told him to drink water and he'd probably be fine. I had the feeling he didn't want to go because ballet is sometimes seen as uncool, especially for boys. (He'd already refused to wear something nice to the recital, just jeans and a t-shirt.)
He kind of left it at that so I figured he was fine. The recital went beautifully and it was a great day. However that night it became clear my son had actually taken a turn for the worse and he had to go to the doctor's. I can't say I wasn't frustrated with him. If he knew it was something serious he's old enough to use words!
When I visited him I asked him why he hadn't said anything, and he got irritated, saying he knew I didn't want him to ruin his sister's recital. I couldn't believe he was trying to turn this around on me, and we argued for a bit.
In his point of view I was an a&^%ole for making him sit through the recital when I knew he didn't feel well. But there's no way I could have known he felt that bad, so I couldn't agree.
He finally just turned away from me. When I brought him some flowers and cards from family, he still didn't say a word. I'm at a loss. Most people I've talked to don't think I was out of line and that what I did was understandable. AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
justanothermillenial writes:
YTA. He did voice that he felt unwell, you made clear you didn't believe him and made assumptions about his 'motives' for not wanting to attend. You then blamed him for becoming worse / not saying anything? I'd not be talking to you either...
cownovel00 writes:
I have something called “chronic acute appendicitis” meaning my appendix swells and resolved itself all the time but it’s excruciating. I was told i was faking for YEARS as a child and only now at 24 i am SOMETIMES taken seriously. mostly since i was prepped for surgery 3 times in the ER. yeah. i’m not faking. this angers me. YTA.
thehotmcpyle writes:
YTA. Your son tried to communicate with you but you obviously weren’t having it so he gave up. And as someone who’s had stomach problems their whole life, it’s not always an excuse to get out of things. I too got accused of doing that so I got used to pretending I was fine when I wasn’t, just to please others and it sucks.
As an adult, I got diagnosed with a colon disease , ulcers and several other issues so no, I wasn’t faking it all those years. Your son did his best, did what you asked and still couldn’t win with you.