Mom freaks out on beach, begs husband take their baby out of the ocean. AITA?
When this mom feels like she doesn't know if she took things too far, she asks Reddit:
'AITA? Insisted my husband take baby out of waves in sea?'
I am a FTM and like all moms I worry about safety, especially around water. It is our 10 month old girl's first trip to the beach and my husband has been looking forward to it for months. He grew up coming to the beach every summer and he was eager to continue this tradition with our daughter.
This morning he took her down to play in the sand. When I joined them he was ready to take her into the water for the first time. The sea wasn't exactly rough but it wasn't calm either. The frequency and size of the waves was 'fun' for adults and older kids, my 11 year old nephew was having the time of his life.
The waves were relatively big for kids and came frequently, with the biggest ones hitting us in the middle of the back and often splashing onto my shoulders. They were big enough that we had to turn our back to the waves about half the time.
I asked my husband, who was holding the baby, to take her back into shallower water a few times, saying that I was nervous about the size of the waves. Each time he responded, 'Don't be nervous!' and from his tone of voice I could tell he was mad and probably thought I was ruining his experience making this memory with the baby, something he probably envisioned multiple times.
He said that if I was so nervous I should just take her out of the water altogether. (This is a common type of response he has to any sort of complaint or unpleasant request. His first instinct is to just give up the activity altogether rather than modify it.)
However, the baby did not have on any water wings, life vest or anything of that sort and the waves kept on coming. After a big wave that broke on my husband's shoulders came, I said, 'I don't give a f***, take her back away from these waves!' He was livid but complied, stomping off and back to the shore.
A minute or two after that big wave an even bigger one came which dumped my nephew off his floaty and pushed thr floaty back to shore. Even he, who had been happily playing up till that point, said 'It's getting dangerous, it's better if we get out.'
I took the baby back home for a nap and my husband stayed down on the beach to supervise my nephew. Now he isn't talking to me. So AITA here for being extremely cautious around these medium-to-big sized waves and potentially ruining an important first for my husband and baby? AITA?
Let's see what readers had to say.
silverfish writes:
NTA. My husband was having a blast in really heavy surf the last time we went (in June) and I kept asking him to go more shallow - and I’m the stronger swimmer. He didn’t take me seriously until I jetted out past him stuck in a riptide.
We both eventually got out but have learned to respect the ocean a bit more. Also learned some areas don’t have red flags, which was what we’d both learned to expect but this was a new beach.
I don’t think he was intentionally trying to endanger her at all, but I also think that it’s worth being cautious with a baby in arms.
scafforig writes:
ESH. It sounds like the waves were a bit too rough and could have turned a bit of fun into baby getting a dunking. I doubt it was unsafe, but the little one might not have enjoyed getting tossed around and having salt water in their eyes and lungs. Dad should have registered it might have turned into a less than fun experience.
But your reaction was clearly too much. Kids look at their parents to understand if they should feel scared or threatened. Your and your partners performance probably planted a nice little alarm bell in your daughters mind. And by the sound of it this is a drama that plays out on a regular basis. Stop this dynamic, it's negative.
aggresivemind9 writes:
YTA. You were not cautious. YOu were controlling and abusive.