'AITA for telling my child’s daycare teacher that my child won’t finish cleaning up?'

It's easier to squeeze blood out of a rock than to get a toddler to move out of the door in a timely fashion. Anyone who has spent any reasonable amount of time around kids knows that toddlers are the antithesis of timely, and it takes a great deal of patience and urgency to corral them to any location in a punctual manner.

This said, pick up time from daycare can be a whole mess, especially if you have another obligation to rush to.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a mom asked if she's wrong for taking her daughter from daycare before she could clean up her toys.

She wrote:

AITA for telling my child’s daycare teacher that my child won’t finish cleaning up?

My 2-year-old daughter has been in a home daycare for a few months now. The teacher, Sasha, is very nice. I am normally all for my daughter cleaning her own messes. However, I find when I arrive, Sasha expects my daughter to finish cleaning up whatever she was playing with.

Which again would be fine, but it delays us getting out the door and heading home, sometimes we have plans, etc. I started texting Sasha when I was so many minutes away, asking her to get my daughter ready and that seemed to work. My daughter would be in her jacket and reading a book, easy to put away vs a huge duplo project or similar.

Until today. Things were crazy and I was in a rush. We had a lot to do this afternoon and I was running behind because I had car trouble. When I arrived, my daughter and some friends were in the middle of cleaning up a big mess. I told my daughter that we had to go and to get her coat.

Sasha said she needed to finish cleaning up her part. I said any other day, sure, but I am running late and we cannot miss this appointment. Sasha tried arguing that the kids need to learn responsibility and I flat out said no. I grabbed my daughter, put her coat on and left. As I said, hectic afternoon so I only just now had time to check my texts.

I had one from Sasha saying poor planning on my part doesn’t mean I can break rules. I pointed out this is not in the contract and I can bring my child home whenever I need want. She accused me of undermining her authority. I was given “a verbal warning” which I found ridiculous. AITA?

The jury of internet commenters adjourned to decide on a verdict.

wirylime wrote:

NTA. I completely agree with the dayhome teacher's sentiment, BUT it is your kid and you can leave whenever you damn well want. Just need to be kind and respectful about it. Daycare pick up should not take 20 minutes.

Working parents need to get home, run errands, make dinner, do extracurriculars, and then have quality time left with their children. That 20 minutes waiting around at daycare really cuts into a person's tight schedule. Perhaps the teacher should not allow messy or busy activities after 4:30 pm and instead encourage reading, larger, simpler toys, or things that are easy to put away in a hurry.

carinavet wrote:

Nobody said it was taking 20 minutes every day. Just that the kid had to pick up whatever she was playing with. Nor did anybody say what time it was. OP did say (some of it in comments) that: The daycare was open for another hour.

The kids were already cleaning up the mess, which is reasonable timing if most of the kids have an hour before they leave.

OP had started texting Sasha to warn her to get the kid ready, implying that the arrival time changes daily. When Sasha has warning, the kid is dressed and ready to go, no problem.

on this particular day, OP gave Sasha no warning and no idea of either the car trouble or the appointment, yet expected the kid to be ready to fly out the door

OP, YTA. This could all have been avoided with a text.

unilateralhope wrote:

YTA. Also very short sighted. You are using a home daycare - if the provider doesn't like you, you will lose your spot, and probably without enough notice to find somewhere else. Play nice with the people you rely on, or you will have more to complain about than a hectic afternoon.

Tdluxon wrote:

YTA. If those are the rules that all of the children are expected to follow, and you were aware of that, you and your daughter should be following them like everyone else. If you're upset, there are a lot of daycares out there, you should find one that has different rules.

ExistenceRaisin wrote:

NTA. She's looking after your child, but she doesn't have 'authority' over you. She's on a power trip.

disregardable wrote:

NAH. You were late. They enforced the policy. Nobody is TA here. If you continue causing trouble with the staff, you will be TA though.

Clearly, no one can agree on this one, so feel free to comment your thoughts.