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Mom helps pay for one son's wedding, but not other's; 'not paying if I don't approve.'

Mom helps pay for one son's wedding, but not other's; 'not paying if I don't approve.'

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AITA for paying for my son's wedding?

My son is getting married to a wonderful woman. We loved her since the first day we met her. She was very nice and polite and very good with my granddaughter. My granddaughter is 15 and she never got along with my son's partners so it's nice to see the amazing relationship between her and her future stepmom

We were all talking and wedding came up. We asked them what they are planning to do and they told us they can't afford their dream wedding and their dream honeymoon so they are trying to decide which one to choose. I offered that they could do both and I'll pay half the price

My other son asked me why I'm paying for their wedding when I didn't pay for his. I told him that I didn't like his wife and he knows it. She has been very cold towards us since the first day we met and she hardly ever speaks to us.

I can't be expected to pay for a wedding I don't approve of. He said I'm showing favoritism. I told him I'm not, I didn't pay for his brother's first wedding either so in order not to show favoritism I'm willing to pay for his next wedding.

He blew up at me and called me an asshole and left.

Here's how people judged OP:

Rude_Vermicelli2268 writes:

NTA It’s your money and you don’t owe anyone a wedding. Neither should you feel obliged to pay for a wedding of someone you dislike. If I were you I would have made the offer privately and asked him to keep it between you. Your son is also free tb be angry with you over your decision and even cut you off if he feels that entitled to your money.

realstareyes writes:

Wait, did you just imply during the conversation that you think your son‘s marriage will fall apart?? YTA. For the blatant favoritism AND for telling your son that you think there might be a divorce. That‘s really insensitive and mean.

PrimaryDiet5940 OP responded:

No I don't think so I was implying that since I'm paying for his brother's second wedding then it's not favoritism as long as I pay for his second wedding if he ever has one

Perfect-Version9494 writes:

I'd also say OP is a massive AH. Not for paying for the other son's wedding, and if OP would just have said 'I didn't pay for his first' everything would be fine. But they ARE an AH for the rest of the conversation, that was just mean.

Infamous_Control_778 writes:

YTA Not because you're paying for the wedding, but for treating your other son like that. No wonder your dil doesn't like you.

PrimaryDiet5940 OP responded:

And she is allowed not to like me but they shouldn't expect someone they don't like to pay for their wedding

Teresa_Chavez writes:

A$$hole. Wonder why she doesn't like you. Don't expect to interact with her children in the future.

PrimaryDiet5940 OP responded:

They already have a child and we interact a lot so I wouldn't be worried about that

DontAskMeChit writes:

'I didn't pay for his brother's first wedding either so in order not to show favoritism I'm willing to pay for his next wedding.' Oh damn. That hurt me and I'm not your son, lol. YTA for saying that, but the petty in me respects that shade, lol.

Sources: Reddit
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