Mom insists adopted son split trust fund with her bio daughter. AITA?
"AITA for thinking my son should split his trustfund with his sister?"
I 46 married my husband when I was 25 and he was 28. He had a 4 year old son Blake. And I had a 3 year daugther Tara. Tara's father has never been in her life and Saxton mother had past away 3 year before from cancer.
2 years into our marriage my husband and decided I should adopt Blake and he Tara. As at this point I was the only mother he knew. And my husband was the only father Tara knew.
The only issue was that husband parents didn't like me and refuse to address Tara as a grandkid. Which has caused issue because my in laws came from family money and would always buy Blake extravagant exspensive gift growing up.
Tara had to watch as her brother alway got the newest and the best stuff and she didn't it cause a riff between him and Tara and they were never really close. And I will admit this cause Tara to be rather rude and mean to Blake. But I don't think I would be so happy in that situation either.
My husband told his parents mutiple times to stop unless they plan on buying for Tara as well but they refused to listen. They created a rather huge trust fund for Blake which he has access to in a few months.
Now my husband was a very simple guy and never wanted anything to do with his family money even more so after how they treated me and Tara. So we lived a very average life.
My husband got very sick and passed 5 years ago. I've been on my own with Blake and Tara for that time. My husband's treatment before his passing has made it impossible to pay for my daughter tuition to college next year. She doesn't qualify for student loan and has no scholarships.
Blake now 24 and will be 25 and will have access to his trustfund in a few months.I mention to him that I feel that his sister should be giving half of the trustfund as she was also my husband daugther.
(My husband always saw Tara as his daugther and hated his parent's for the way they treat Tara like anything else).
Blake got mad and said that the trust fund was just enough to pay for his research trip he had plan to do but couldn't manage to get the funding for. Blake is a marine biologist who study creature that only live deep under the ocean.
(To be honest most of them are terrifying. He has shown me pictures). He has his master in the field but is determined to get his PHD before he is 30. This trip is his thesis project. Which basically it like a final exam for a PHD or something simular to that.
But I feel he is being a little selfish with this and that he should also at least think about his sister in this case. Yes it going take him a longer then he wish to get his Phd but he a young smart guy and will get thier eventually. AITA for thinking my son should split his inheritance with his sister?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
unablead6 writes:
YTA. He's not responsible because his grandparents viewed him as their grandchild and left him something. Your daughter isn't entitled to money from people who didn't view her as their granddaughter, as much as you/your husband tried to insist on it. There is nothing about this that you control or should be dictating.
slackerchic writes:
YTA. It is not your money. It is Blake's money. The trust was created by his grandparents with the intent that he use it on his education, which he is doing. By demanding that he consider splitting it, you are actually the one creating more of a rift in your family.
You are giving the siblings reason to resent one another, by trying to give away something that is not yours to give. The parents may have been the one who created the problem, but you are feeding into it. What you think he should do with the money is irrelevant because it is not yours.
You are being entitled and greedy. Also why mention that the creatures he is studying are terrifying? It sounds like you are trying to undermine or make light of his accomplishments.
mousingjock writes:
Your in-laws were AHs for not respecting their son's decision an the adoption ad treating you two not as a family but as strangers. You are an AH now tho, I know it's not fair, I know your raised both as your own etc..
but ultimately it was never your money to decide, it was the in-laws', and horrible as they be they had the right to decide. And a PhD research trip is not really a selfish way to spend a trust fund.