When this mom feels judged by the other stay home moms, she asks Reddit:
I'm a stay-at-home mom to a non-verbal autistic 5 years old. Although he's autistic, he's capable for doing stuff like cleaning, dressing himself, going to the potty alone, etc... Anyways I'm 31 and it's hard making friends with kids these days.
I decided to join the local moms group and befriended a bunch of stay-at-home moms. We decided to meet up and have a play date with our kids. So while our kids played, we talked about our day-to-day duties.
Most of these moms do 100% of the house chores and take care of their kids on top of that. I told them that I make my husband do some chores around the house even though I'm a stay-at-home mom. I told them usually on the weekdays I take a nap when he gets home from work.
So house duties are his until I wake up at 5 to make dinner. I even told them sometimes I wont wake up till 7 and my husband ends up making dinner. Usually if he cooks dinner, I wash the dishes. If he vacuum, I mop. He also has bathroom, cat litter, and trash duties.
They called me lazy then I proceeded by calling them jealous. I told them I clean my house daily when no ones home. My son goes to school till noon so I have enough time to clean and do laundry in the morning. Also I like to clean after everyone goes to bed at night.
They said I shouldn't make my husband do chores since I'm a stay-at-home mom. Also I shouldn't give my autistic 5 years old chores. I told them they should stop being jealous and stop baby-ing their husband's. AITA for the way I reacted?
YTA. Either they are jealous, or they just fancied a vent about chores and you turned it into a whole thing. You sound exhausting. Hadn’t you just met these people? No wonder you have trouble making friends.
Try being nice to people when you first meet them and hold back the crazy until you know them a bit better.
NTA - Seems like a pretty fair arrangement to me, it's not as if you stay home all day watching netflix. Being a sahm is hard work and I'm sure has extra challenges when you have a child with extra needs. Teaching your son responsibility and giving him the structure of having his own chores can surely only help him later in life too.
NTA. This is what you see from people that don't have a life, they're shocked and appalled at other people having them. OP sounds like she does a good job and has a good husband.
Chores are much easier and I find take less time when you're thorough continuously, OP probably has this approach so she's not overwhelmed and her husband is appreciative to pitch in and pick up slack as necessary.