Being a mom and a landlord is not an entirely unique situation, but most of us haven't been in this position. If you're lucky enough to have an extra house or apartment that you can share with your children, it's such a great gift. But what happens when you walk the line between landlord and parent? What happens if you cross that line?
A mom shared a post Reddit's 'Am I The A**hole' subreddit asking if she made a mistake by letting herself into her daughter's apartment, even though she thought no one was home. Here's her story...
I am a mother to a 20-year-old daughter. She is a junior in college and attends school in the same city that we live. My daughter and two of her friends live in a condominium that I own. Her friends pay below-market rent while my daughter does not.
The condo was inherited from my parents and it was their intent that I would pass ownership of it to my daughter when she is mature enough to own her own place. My daughter, husband, and I are in agreement that she will take over ownership of the condo when she is out of school and financially independent.
Earlier this week, my daughter mentioned that she had run out of some household supplies and would have to set aside time to go shopping before the end of the week. My daughter's schedule has been especially rough lately, as she has picked up extra shifts at her part time job due to short staffing.
Wanting to be helpful, I offered to pick up the supplies for her and drop them off at her place. She accepted.
The next day, I picked up the supplies and took them to the condo. I knew my daughter was in class, so I knocked and, and when no one answered, let myself in. The front door opens into the living room. When I entered, I found one of my daughters roommates being intimate with a man on the living room couch.
I was obviously mortified, so I left the supplies at the door and left right away. I didn't say anything to my daughter about what happened because I didn't want to put her in an uncomfortable position but I did let her know that I had dropped off the supplies.
On Friday, I got an angry email from the roommate's parents. I'm not sure exactly what they were told but their email lambasted me for invading their daughter's privacy. They said that what I did was wrong because I'm their daughter's landlord and I entered the condo without giving 24-hours notice.
They're threatening to take legal action if I do it again. I am vaguely familiar with this requirement, but didn't think it was applicable here. Was I the a**hole in this situation? I feel bad about what happened but I also don't feel like I was out of line.
Here's what people had to say in the comments:
NTA and I would advise the roommates parents that you are officially going to raise the rent to market rent.
OccasionWilling4170 OP responded:
I wouldn't raise their rent. They only pay a token amount in rent because the other roommate has financial difficulties and I didn't want to charge the two roommates an uneven amount. I don't want them to suffer over this incident.
YTA. You used your key inappropriately. This was not an emergency. You could have left the crap on the doorstep. Your daughter’s friends ARE tenants and you did violate the law.
OccasionWilling4170 OP responded:
I appreciate your judgment. I wouldn't have left the supplies on the doorstep, as the front door faces a busy street and they have a package theft problem but I should've made sure my daughter was home to take the supplies.
NTA. If you decide to get intimate with someone in a shared space then there’s a chance someone’s going to walk in on you