This happened in Oct and my daughter is still acting cold and Hardly speaking to me. My daughter (F16) works an after school job 5 days a week. Her high school had a costume contest for Halloween. My daughter and her friends planned a group costume to enter. She went with her friends after school to buy costumes.
I picked her and her friends up from the store and they showed me their costumes. My daughter spent 80$ on hers. I was pissed that’s a lot of money to spend on something your going to wear for a few hours. Very irresponsible use of money. I told her as much in the car told her it was ridiculous.
I dropped her friends off and took her back to the store to return the costume and accessories. Her friends found someone else to take her place in the group and they won the contest and a 100$ visa gift card to split.
My daughter came home from school on Halloween upset she claimed she had to sit and watch while her friends had fun and she missed out on everything. I pointed out to her after splitting the gift card it would be way less then she spent on the costume and it was only a few hours but she didn’t want to listen to reason.
Now a month later and she is still moody and mostly ignoring me. My ex husband told me I made her miss out and she works so much she missed out on a lot of stuff with her friends and I could have let her have this.
But at the end of the day I saved her 80$. I'm just trying to teach my daughter how to be responsible with money she could have gotten a cheap costume especially since I she would have only worn it for a few hours.
From the comments:
YTA Congrats, you just strained your relationship with your daughter for $80 that weren't ever yours.
Hope it was worth it
Thank you for pointing out the humiliating her in front of her friends part. Because it sounds like she lectured the child in the car in front of her friends. And that 100% is what makes her the asshole here. That is a conversation that she could have had outside of that particular setting if she thought it was that important.
It isn’t just about the costume, but it’s about her now feeling left out of a group activity with her friends but also the fact that OP humiliated her by lecturing her over her own money in front of her friends.
Learning how to spend money responsibly does only come from actually spending money and eventually realizing what was worth the expense or not afterwards. So her mum took that away from her and was an ass just because.
I completely agree. And what's $80 these days anyway? Folks spend more than that one one meal...YTA
My adult autistic son LOVES Halloween. He hardly ever asks for money for anything, but he always wants a Halloween costume. And every year I drop up to $100 on a costume for him, and I do it with a smile on my face. The utter joy he gets out of it makes it totally worthwhile. Sometimes things aren't about the money.
What you wanted to teach your daughter: the value of saving.
What she learned: her mother cares more about money than friendships and her daughter's happiness.
Furthermore, you taught her that you will micromanage her until she moves out. Congratulations, your lesson on $80 will prompt her to be spending that money on rent, utilities and groceries at her first opportunity! Hopefully one of her friends will be her roommate.