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Mom refuses to buy snacks for daughter's BFF, other mom says 'pay me back for playdates.'

Mom refuses to buy snacks for daughter's BFF, other mom says 'pay me back for playdates.'


Keeping an itemized list of who spent what doesn't set a great tone for a friendship. But that doesn't stop people from doing it.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for not buying snacks for her daughter's best friend during a play date. She wrote:

"AITA for not buying snacks for my daughter's best friend at a play date?"

I have an 11-year-old daughter, Ellie. She has a best friend, Sophie, (12). Both of the girls have special needs and are around 6 years old mentally. Sophie's mom called me yesterday, said that they were at an indoor playground, and Sophie wanted to know if Ellie could come and play.

Sophie's mom offered to put me on her punch card (she prepays for 10-20 visits at a time because it’s cheaper) so it would be free for me, so I got Ellie in the car and we met them at the playground. After about an hour of playing, the girls started to get hungry. I packed a snack for Ellie but Sophie’s mom didn’t have any snacks on her.

I told her they sell snacks in the front but she claimed that she didn’t have any money on her and asked me to buy Sophie some goldfish. I said sure, Venmo me and I’ll grab some. She says she paid for my kid to get in so I could cover the $2 for the goldfish. I said no, I took care of my kid and it’s not my job to take care of hers too.

I told her if she wanted me to bring snacks she should’ve told me when she invited me but I won’t be wasting $2 for a $.50 bag of goldfish because she was unprepared. She went up to the front and I don’t know if she lied about not having money but she came back with goldfish and fruit snacks.

Now she’s being petty by asking me to pay her back for all of the times we’ve used their memberships and guest passes so we’re not getting along. I’m going to have to see her at school drop off/pickup, ballet class, gymnastics class, and the girls weekly play dates so I wanted to know if I was the AH for not buying her kid a snack.

The internet did not hold back on OP.

Worth-Season3645 wrote:

YTA…you were invited to a place for free that you would otherwise have had to pay for. You only packed snacks for your child? Why? Why didn’t you also take snacks for the other child? Yes, you did not have to do so, and that child is not your responsibility.

But if I was meeting someone for a playdate for my child, not paying to get in, knowing, at some point both girls were going to be hungry, I would have packed snacks for both, as a thank you for the invitation and just because.

I would call the other mom TA as well, because if she has passes to this place, she knows her child will want a snack, but from your other comments, this seems to be a recurring theme for you.

Your daughter is invited numerous times? You accept the generosity, but do not reciprocate in any way? At least not that you state. So, due to a pack of goldfish, because of you, your daughter might not see so many invites to playdates any longer. Exactly, who is mentally 6 years old in this scenario? The children or the parents?

benjamin6486 wrote:

YTA. And all over $2. Extremely petty, I feel like there’s more going on here you’re not sharing. Were you already irritated with friend's mom for some reason?

AdSolid3204 wrote:

YTA 100% she spotted your daughter for the entry fee to the indoor playground and you can't spare $2 for a pack of goldfish? Do you hear yourself? You also jeopardized your daughter's friendship with this girl. I really hope this is a fake story because it's hard to believe anyone can be this dense.

forgetregret1day wrote:

She’s being petty? Do you even hear yourself? Your daughter got into the event for free because of her generosity and you can’t even spring for a $2 bag of goldfish? You passed her on the petty meter a long time ago, not that she was in any way being petty here.

She was just asking for a kindness and you’re so hung up on penny-pinching you can’t see how wrong you are. I’m surprised you have any friends and by being so petty probably just cost your daughter this friend. Shame on you. YTA.

There's no question, it's fully clear that OP is TA here.

Sources: Reddit
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