Mom refuses to change 4 yo daughter's clothes at a princess party. AITA?
When this mom to an 8M and 4F is frustrated at a kid's birthday party, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for refusing to change my daughter's clothes at a birthday party?"
I (34F) have two kids (8M & 4F). My daughter's name is Aurora. My husband (36M) and I chose that name because it was slightly similar to my late FIL's, and worked well with our last names.
It had nothing to do with the princess from Sleeping Beauty. In spite of that, we've had fun with that movie in the past, and ever since my daughter realized that she shared names with a Disney character, Princess Aurora has been her favorite.
Our family went to Disney World in July, and while there, we bought my daughter a Princess Aurora costume. She adores it, and wears it whenever she has the chance.
Two weeks ago, one of Aurora's friends from school threw a princess-themed birthday party. She encouraged her friends to wear costumes. My daughter wanted to go as her favorite character, which didn't surprise me at all.
When we got to the party, the birthday girl came to greet my daughter, and she was also dressed as Princess Aurora. I didn't know what her costume was going to be prior to the party.
I got worried for a second, but the birthday girl was actually really excited. She said that they looked like twins. It was adorable. They ran off to play and I forgot about the costumes for a while.
About 30 minutes into the party, I was at a table with some of the other moms when the birthday girl's mother came up to me. She asked if I had brought any spare clothes for Aurora. I said yes (I always bring an extra shirt and shorts for her). She then asked me to change my daughter into the spare clothes and out of her costume.
The mother explained that she'd hired a photographer to walk around taking pictures of the kids, and was also planning on getting a group photo near the end of the party.
She didn't want anyone wearing the same costume as her daughter in these pictures. She also thought her daughter might get jealous, since my kid gets to share her name with their favorite princess.
Now, if the birthday girl was the one who had a problem, I might've considered changing Aurora into her spare clothes. But no, she was genuinely excited they were dressed the same. It also didn't feel fair to force my daughter to be the only one without a costume in a party full of children in princess dresses.
I said no and explained my reasoning to the girl's mom. She insisted for a few minutes, but I held my ground. Some of the other moms started to back me up, and she eventually got up and left.
When I went to pick up my kids earlier this week, I ran into her friend's mom. She accused me of ruining her daughter's party by allowing Aurora to wear the same costume as her. She told me she doesn't think she'll ever be able to look at the pictures without being disgusted by my behavior.
I thought she was exaggerating, but I'm starting to doubt myself. Our conflict has found its way to the mom group chat we're both in, and opinions over there are divided. Some think having two girls wear the same costume is no big deal, others think I should have changed my daughter's clothes. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
acetrainer writes:
NTA for two reasons, 1. You didn't know about the mom not wanting anyone dressed as the same princess as the birthday girl and 2. The birthday girl was excited that they were dressed similar.
If the invite had said "please make sure you kid isn't dressed as sleeping beauty" or if the birthday girl was upset you would have been the asshole, but because neither of those things were true you were not the asshole in this situation.
iamirene writes:
Oh. You have got to be kidding. You are really NTA here. That mom...what a piece of work!! Jealous that a 4 year old is going to outshine her precious? Gross. Gross and terrible behavior on her part, she should be ashamed.'
I think it's adorable the birthday girl was so excited that another "Aurora" showed up! Good job standing your ground. NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER, lol. That mom has some issues she needs to sort out, lol. Wow.
antiquead4413 writes:
NTA, did the friend's mother really think that your daughter who shares a name with that princess would actually not come as that princess. The mom has main character issues for her daughter.
You can't tell me in a group of four year old girls there was only two girls dressed the same in a Disney princess party. There's the stock 4 or 5 that everyone picks and then some of the new ones.
It's a four year old party get over it you did not ruin it and if the mother can't look at that picture and not get upset because she didn't boss you around and you held your ground then that's her issues.