Parenting

<p>One of the hardest parts of living with family is that you&#39;re all roommates at the end of the day.</p><p>So on top of navigating the delicate dynamics of partnership and parenthood, you have to figure out how to not drive each other completely mad with slamming doors, open-mouth eating sounds, and all of the typical bad roommate behaviors.</p><p>Sometimes, keeping the peace calls for drastic measures, but those drastic measures can still backfire and create a feedback loop.</p><h2>In a <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/11ka6ov/aita_for_removing_my_daughters_bedroom_door/" target="_blank">popular post on the AITA subreddit</a>, a mom asked if she was wrong for removing her daughter&#39;s door to prevent slamming.</h2><p>She wrote:</p><blockquote> <p>AITA for removing my daughter&rsquo;s bedroom door because she won&rsquo;t stop slamming it?</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I (40f) have 3 kids. Maggie (14f), Levi (12m) and Charlie (10m). (**NOT THEIR REAL NAMES)**Levi and Charlie share a bedroom and Maggie has her own room as the oldest and also only girl.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Maggie is a great kid. She does her homework, helps with chores without too much complaint, doesn&rsquo;t bug her little brothers (too) much. The issue is that she will not stop slamming her bedroom door.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>When she gets up to use the bathroom at night she slams her bedroom door on her way out and back in. When she gets up in the morning or goes to bed at night she slams it. Pretty much any time she enters or exits her room the door gets slammed.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>And it&rsquo;s only her door, none of the other doors in the house. It shakes the walls and frequently wakes up everyone else in the house. Her brothers room shares a wall with hers and our bedroom is directly above theirs.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>We&rsquo;ve talked to her about it and asked her very politely to please be more mindful about it because it is disturbing the rest of us but it&rsquo;s in one ear and out the other. We tried being more forceful about it saying that if she continues to slam her door there will start to be consequences.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Still nothing changes. It all came to a head the other night when she got up to use the bathroom and all four of us were woken up by the slamming. I have to be up at 5am for work and I&rsquo;ve had enough of the broken sleep and came downstairs and knocked on her door. She opened it and said <em>WHAT?!</em> with such attitude it took a lot of self control not to start yelling.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I told her as calmly as I could that if she slammed that door one more time she was going to come home and find it gone. She proceeded to yell at me to leave her alone and then slammed it 5 times as hard as she could.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Well the next day (Friday) she went to school and my husband and I both had the day off so we took the door off the frame and installed a curtain rod with a nice heavy curtain over the door instead. She came home and freaked the f**k out.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>She said we&rsquo;re being emotionally ab*sive and taking away her right to privacy. She sulked all weekend and won&rsquo;t talk to us now. My mother says I&rsquo;m the AH because I overreacted but she doesn&rsquo;t have to deal with the house shaking.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I want to add that we completely respect each other&rsquo;s privacy in our house which is why we hung up a heavy curtain and made sure that we couldn&rsquo;t see through it or around it. We even put little Velcro pieces on the walls and curtain sides so it stays in place.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>She still has her physical privacy which she is absolutely entitled to, but can&rsquo;t slam a piece of fabric. We also have never and still don&rsquo;t just go into her room unannounced and still knock on the wall to ask permission to enter. We&rsquo;ve told her we&rsquo;ll happily put her door back on once she agrees to respect the no-slamming rule. So AITA?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Edit to add:</p> <p>The curtain is an industrial type that blocks sound and light</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>The curtain is only meant to be a temporary measure. As soon as she agrees to stop slamming and be respectful of the shared space we will put it right back on.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>The door isn&rsquo;t broken or malfunctioning in any way and there is no draft causing it to swing shut.</p> </blockquote><h2>People kept it real in the comments.</h2><p><strong><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Express-Afternoon724/">Express-Afternoon724</a> wrote:</strong></p><blockquote> <p>NTA. Interrupting everyone&#39;s sleep is unacceptable. You gave her plenty of opportunities to change her door-slamming behavior and she didn&#39;t do it. Let her sulk it out for a set amount of time (let her know this amount.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>One week...3 days...whatever you choose, then return the door conditionally for a trial. If she can refrain from slamming it, she can keep it. If not, the door gets taken off again for even more time. Rinse and repeat until she no longer slams.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><strong><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Lumpy-Relationship17/">Lumpy-Relationship17</a> wrote: </strong></p><blockquote> <p>NTA. I was at my best friend&#39;s house when I was about 10. She and her twin sister were playing by their bedroom door, absolutely horsing around and slamming into the door repeatedly while playing. We could hear their dad from the <em>other side of the house</em>, saying calmly, loudly, and warningly, &quot;Paren con la puerta&quot; (roughly &quot;Stop messing with the door&quot;).</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Minutes go by and they keep messing, slamming into the door loudly, so we hear it again, &quot;Paren con la puerta.&quot; I was fully bracing at that point, looking at them in panic...and then they kick the door again.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>We hear steps, the man opens the door, lifts it right off its hinges, and walks off with the door under his arm without a word. One of my favorite memories of childhood.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><strong><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DragonFireLettuce/">DragonFireLettuce</a> wrote:</strong></p><blockquote> <p>NTA. That&#39;s what I call &quot;check-mate.&quot; You&#39;re teaching your kid a valuable lesson - actions have consequences. And she&#39;s even able to reverse this decision - if she &quot;agrees&quot; to not slam. Which, for some reason, she&#39;s won&#39;t agree to it? PS - the curtain was a great touch.</p> </blockquote><p><strong><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Earptastic/">Earptastic</a> wrote:</strong></p><blockquote> <p>&quot;I told her as calmly as I could that if she slammed that door one more time she was going to come home and find it gone. She proceeded to yell at me to leave her alone and then slammed it 5 times as hard as she could.&quot; I guess she made that decision on her own and was very sure about it (5 times sure). NTA.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Clearly OP simply kept her word, and it&#39;s up to her daughter to behave in response.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Mom replaces daughter's bedroom door with curtain to get her to slop slamming it.

One of the hardest parts of living with family is that you&#39;re all roommates at the end of the day.So on top of navigating the delicate dynamics of partnership and parenthood, you have to figure out how to not drive each other completely mad with slamming doors, open-mouth eating sounds, and all of the typical bad roommate behaviors.Sometimes, keeping the peace calls for drastic measures, but those drastic measures can still backfire and create a feedback loop.In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a mom asked if she was wrong for removing her daughter&#39;s door to prevent slamming.She wrote: AITA for removing my daughter&rsquo;s bedroom door because she won&rsquo;t stop slamming it?  I (40f) have 3 kids. Maggie (14f), Levi (12m) and Charlie (10m). (**NOT THEIR REAL NAMES)**Levi and Charlie share a bedroom and Maggie has her own room as the oldest and also only girl.  Maggie is a great kid. She does her homework, helps with chores without too much complaint, doesn&rsquo;t bug her little brothers (too) much. The issue is that she will not stop slamming her bedroom door.  When she gets up to use the bathroom at night she slams her bedroom door on her way out and back in. When she gets up in the morning or goes to bed at night she slams it. Pretty much any time she enters or exits her room the door gets slammed.  And it&rsquo;s only her door, none of the other doors in the house. It shakes the walls and frequently wakes up everyone else in the house. Her brothers room shares a wall with hers and our bedroom is directly above theirs.  We&rsquo;ve talked to her about it and asked her very politely to please be more mindful about it because it is disturbing the rest of us but it&rsquo;s in one ear and out the other. We tried being more forceful about it saying that if she continues to slam her door there will start to be consequences.  Still nothing changes. It all came to a head the other night when she got up to use the bathroom and all four of us were woken up by the slamming. I have to be up at 5am for work and I&rsquo;ve had enough of the broken sleep and came downstairs and knocked on her door. She opened it and said WHAT?! with such attitude it took a lot of self control not to start yelling.  I told her as calmly as I could that if she slammed that door one more time she was going to come home and find it gone. She proceeded to yell at me to leave her alone and then slammed it 5 times as hard as she could.  Well the next day (Friday) she went to school and my husband and I both had the day off so we took the door off the frame and installed a curtain rod with a nice heavy curtain over the door instead. She came home and freaked the f**k out.  She said we&rsquo;re being emotionally ab*sive and taking away her right to privacy. She sulked all weekend and won&rsquo;t talk to us now. My mother says I&rsquo;m the AH because I overreacted but she doesn&rsquo;t have to deal with the house shaking.  I want to add that we completely respect each other&rsquo;s privacy in our house which is why we hung up a heavy curtain and made sure that we couldn&rsquo;t see through it or around it. We even put little Velcro pieces on the walls and curtain sides so it stays in place.  She still has her physical privacy which she is absolutely entitled to, but can&rsquo;t slam a piece of fabric. We also have never and still don&rsquo;t just go into her room unannounced and still knock on the wall to ask permission to enter. We&rsquo;ve told her we&rsquo;ll happily put her door back on once she agrees to respect the no-slamming rule. So AITA?  Edit to add: The curtain is an industrial type that blocks sound and light  The curtain is only meant to be a temporary measure. As soon as she agrees to stop slamming and be respectful of the shared space we will put it right back on.  The door isn&rsquo;t broken or malfunctioning in any way and there is no draft causing it to swing shut. People kept it real in the comments.Express-Afternoon724 wrote: NTA. Interrupting everyone&#39;s sleep is unacceptable. You gave her plenty of opportunities to change her door-slamming behavior and she didn&#39;t do it. Let her sulk it out for a set amount of time (let her know this amount.  One week...3 days...whatever you choose, then return the door conditionally for a trial. If she can refrain from slamming it, she can keep it. If not, the door gets taken off again for even more time. Rinse and repeat until she no longer slams. Lumpy-Relationship17 wrote:  NTA. I was at my best friend&#39;s house when I was about 10. She and her twin sister were playing by their bedroom door, absolutely horsing around and slamming into the door repeatedly while playing. We could hear their dad from the other side of the house, saying calmly, loudly, and warningly, &quot;Paren con la puerta&quot; (roughly &quot;Stop messing with the door&quot;).  Minutes go by and they keep messing, slamming into the door loudly, so we hear it again, &quot;Paren con la puerta.&quot; I was fully bracing at that point, looking at them in panic...and then they kick the door again.  We hear steps, the man opens the door, lifts it right off its hinges, and walks off with the door under his arm without a word. One of my favorite memories of childhood. DragonFireLettuce wrote: NTA. That&#39;s what I call &quot;check-mate.&quot; You&#39;re teaching your kid a valuable lesson - actions have consequences. And she&#39;s even able to reverse this decision - if she &quot;agrees&quot; to not slam. Which, for some reason, she&#39;s won&#39;t agree to it? PS - the curtain was a great touch. Earptastic wrote: &quot;I told her as calmly as I could that if she slammed that door one more time she was going to come home and find it gone. She proceeded to yell at me to leave her alone and then slammed it 5 times as hard as she could.&quot; I guess she made that decision on her own and was very sure about it (5 times sure). NTA. Clearly OP simply kept her word, and it&#39;s up to her daughter to behave in response.

One of the hardest parts of living with family is that you&#39;re all roommates at the end of the day.  So on top of navigating the delicate dynamics of partnership and parenthood, you have to figure out how to not drive each other...