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Mom reports daughter to school for bullying 'gay' kid, daughter says 'you're ruining my life.'

Mom reports daughter to school for bullying 'gay' kid, daughter says 'you're ruining my life.'


There are times when the best thing you can do as a parent is give your kid some tough love. Enabling bad behavior will only hurt them (and the others in their path) long-term.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for reporting her daughter to her school after finding out she's a bully. She wrote:

"AITA for reporting my daughter to her school?"

My husband (38M) and I (38F) have three kids, our daughter Kyrstiana (13F) and Liam (8M) and Sarah (2F). Krystiana has a boyfriend, Colden (13M). Colden is a good kid, he plays baseball, is an A student, and is a sweet boy.

I also know that him and his friends call each other out when they do something bad, he’s told me stories about how him and his friends called out one of their friends for saying something transphobic, they do this by roasting each other sometimes, but it encourages good behavior.

Colden sometimes goes to my husband and I for advice, a few months ago, he came to us after his friends “roasted” him for a racially insensitive comment he made, you could tell he was remorseful. We live in a very privileged area and it can be hard to see biases. The boys Colden plays baseball with have shaped him into a phenomenal young man.

Yesterday night, Colden and Krystiana were in her room together, my husband and I were on the porch watching Liam and Sarah play in the yard. Suddenly, we are interrupted by Colden storming out of the house, and he was walking angrily. We tried to stop him since he didn’t have a coat and was wearing shorts. We told him to come inside and asked what was wrong.

He kept walking for a bit, before turning back, walked in our house shivering and asked for some hot cocoa. He told us that there was this boy in their grade who Colden found out that Kyrstiana was bullying. He said the boy was a feminine straight guy, he has short hair and doesn’t dress feminine, but he’s a Swiftie, is openly emotional, and he listed a few other things about him.

He said our daughter was calling this boy gay and telling his girlfriend that he’s “probably cheating on her with a boy.” He said he doesn’t know the boy well but it bugged him that she was doing this. He said he didn’t want to report our daughter though as he didn’t want to ruin his relationship with her.

We suggested to him that he considered reporting it, but he said he didn’t feel comfortable doing so. Once he had calmed down, we let him watch TV in the living room while we talked to our daughter. She was unapologetic, she said that she was just stating how she felt and that we couldn’t punish her for that. We told her that she was grounded and took her devices away.

After cooling down a bit ourselves, my husband and I discussed our plans and we decided to email the principals and admin at her school. The school is currently investigating this further, but has already found evidence that her and her entire friend group was bullying this boy after just a day of looking, and she’s facing serious consequences.

Our daughter said we were being “snitches” and said that we are “ruining her social life.” AITA?

Redditors had lots to say about the situation.

_slamantha_ wrote:

NTA OP. Your daughter is learning a valuable lesson. Actions have consequences. And by the sounds of it she needs a consequence to fully understand how her actions/words are detrimental to the recipient. It’s funny how she says you’re ruining her social life when if she keeps treating people like that she’s gonna ruin it herself.

Anonymous42829 wrote:

NTA it’s good for your daughter to know that her words and actions also have consequences and that she can’t get away with what she wants especially when it comes to bullying don’t feel bad you’re teaching your daughter a valuable lesson.

elegance0010 wrote:

NTA at all. She needs to learn the true meaning of FAFO. Not only are you setting a good example that actions have consequences even outside of the home, but you are also showing her that she can't do something awful and try and hide behind you. You are standing up for the boy she is bullying as well. Good job!

ArmorClassHero wrote:


You did one of the hardest things a parent has to do. But you did the right thing.

OP is clearly NTA, she did a hard and necessary thing as a parent that will benefit her daughter long-term.

Sources: Reddit
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