Mom gets revenge on daughter when she says stepmom's cooking is better.
When this woman is upset with her daughter, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for telling my daughter she can cook herself now if she doesn't like my cooking?'
I (40f) have a daughter Erin (16). When Erin was 10 me and my ex husband 'Mike' divorced and he moved to a different city for work. He would come and see Erin a few times a year and sometimes she would fly to see him.
As I'm the only adult Erin has left I normally cook for both of us (and occasionally for my boyfriend when he is over for dinner).
I am not a health freak and mostly try to make filling and nutritional meals with 'cheat meals' once or twice a week. I also try to make meals from different cuisines at least once a week.
A few months ago my ex husband moved back to our city alongside with his wife Kim (32).
Erin was happy about it as it meant she could see her dad more often and we have agreed that she can stay over their new place over the weekend and holidays if they don't have other plans.
I have met Kim a few times and she seems lovely and I trust Mike to look after her.
However since staying with them Erin kept talking what a good cook Kim is and how tasty her food is.
When I have asked her what she is having when she stays she mentioned a lot Asian and Asian inspired dishes which I have no issues with, since I went through a phase of eating a specific cuisine for a few years when I was younger too.
So I have tried making more Asian like foods at home to keep Erin happy (ramen, pad Thai, different grilled meats, kimchi etc). However no matter what I make, new or old dishes, Erin would say she doesn't like them and they don't taste good.
I have tried cooking her favourite meals and deserts from before and got the same reaction. Over last 2 weeks it got to the point where she would refuse to eat anything I cook and would either go and stay with friends or have food at Mike's place.
I got tired of this and when Erin came back told her that if she doesn't like my cooking she can cook herself and do her own shopping, since she knows how to cook and we have a large supermarket 2 minutes down the road from us.
Erin got upset and went to her bedroom to pick her clothes and is currently staying with Mike.
Mike and my own parents called me to tell I am being unreasonable and an asshole since Erin is my daughter, so I 'can't keep starving her'.
I don't think I am being an asshole here since my daughter refuses to eat anything I make these days, however would appreciate a second opinion.
The food is always available in the fridge. If it is not eaten by the time she goes to school me or my bf just eat it for lunch ourselves and make something new for dinner.
Plus there's always snacks, cereals, different sides, fruites and veggies in the fridge or cupboards which she can help herself with. AITA?
Let's find out.
internationalyam80 writes:
NTA. But I have a feeling this is not about the food. She gets something there, that she doesn't get at your home. Maybe she thinks the grass is looking greener somewhere else... Which is no suprise, probably she gets a bit more spoiled at your ex home, because it is all new...
panamaviejo writes:
OP's daughter now has regular contact with Dad after 6 years. It's new and shiny and exciting.
He wasn't around much to help guide his daughter through her formative years. Now time with him and the new wife is like a new pair of party shoes while time with her mother is like a pair of slippers.
OP's parents need to stay out of this. OP and Mike need to sit down and discuss this. She needs to tell him that she is not starving her daughter but right now she seems to prefer his wife's cooking.
When OP naturally told her to cook for herself if she didn't like her cooking any more she ran crying to him.
Let Mike know that Erin is trying to manipulate both of you. If she feels more comfortable with him and the new wife she is welcome to stay but you will not tolerate her spreading lies about you.