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Mom revokes teen daughter's car privileges over driving with both feet; AITA?

Mom revokes teen daughter's car privileges over driving with both feet; AITA?


Teaching your child how to drive is often a stressful, white-knuckling challenge in stomping on an invisible brake from the passenger's seat...

So, when a frustrated mom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about her daughter's risky driving habit, people were ready to help deem a verdict.

AITA for taking my revoking my daughters driving privileges after finding out she is using 2 feet?

My (37F) daughter (16F) is in the process of navigating the roads as a new driver. She began studying for and got her permit when she was 15, and had since been receiving driving lessons from my ex husband (40M).

She passed her driving test (written and physical portion) and is an outstanding student, so my ex and I decided to gift her a car as her 16th birthday gift (after receiving her license).

Growing up, my dad was the one who taught me and my siblings how to ride a bike, and later how to drive. It is a fond memory I have of him, so I decided to let her father handle the driving lessons/teaching business, so they could have that as well.

Apparently, during these lessons, my daughter started off by using both of her feet. Right foot for the gas, left for the brake. She continued to drive this way for a while, even passing her test this way.

Apparently when my ex husband found out about this, he brought it up to her and asked her to correct it but she argued that she has been driving this way since she started and that reverting to the normal way would be potentially dangerous, and that she is uncomfortable doing so. So my ex husband just dropped it.

I, how ever, was extremely concerned when I found this out (via her dad during casual convo). I asked him if he thought this was appropriate and he said he saw nothing wrong and that she was a good driver, I disagreed and told him this was unsafe and that I would be having a chat with our daughter once she arrived home from school.

She did, I asked her to sit down, and tried to explain to her the dangers of what she is doing. Wear and tear on the brakes, potentially pressing the wrong pedal in a split second emergency situation, not to mention the higher chance of having your foot on the break the entire time, which is not only annoying to other drivers (with them not being able to know whether you are actually breaking or not) and again, dangerous.

I asked her to please take these points into consideration and change her method of driving, to which she argued the only real danger would be forcing her to switch to using only one foot for both pedals after driving for this way for so long.

I told her she has only been driving for about a year more or less, and the same way she learned with two she could learn with one, to which she flat out refused.

After our conversation and her refusal I took her keys and told her I would be taking her to school from now on, and wherever else need be. She was upset and called her dad, who called me to tell me I’m an AH and being controlling.

He reminded me that her driving record is fine the way she is driving thus far (but it’s only been a year) and that she will resent me for this.

So, AITA? I don’t want to come off as controlling and I definitely don’t want my daughter to resent me over this. I am genuinely concerned for her safety over this and am not sure what to do now.

How did she pass her test like this? Clearly someone was phoning it in that day at the DMV. Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:

hmt5592 said:

NTA. You're considering her safety and the safety of others on the road.

angelblade401 said:

NTA Daughter's argument that it'd be too difficult to re-learn now is ridiculous. The longer she refuses to learn to drive safely, the more difficult it will be. Also, I can't believe this wasn't caught during her practical driving test.

I'd be calling whatever authority gave her the license and asking how she was able to pass while driving in an unsafe manner.

turkeygreen said:

Given that you’ve tried to talk to her NTA. Clearly this needs more conversation though. Continue talking (calmly and respectfully). But yeah that’s super dangerous.

eccatameccata said:

NTA If you do a quick google search, using two feet wears out brake pads and causes accidents. Most driving schools do not allow it. Be strong mom, Just because she hadn’t had an accident yet (thanks dad) doesn’t mean she won’t in the future. If she wants to drive your car, follow your rules.

ugajeremy said:

NTA - it's really concerning that she's more annoyed at having to change her style than she is worried about getting into a potentially fatal accident. Cars aren't toys.

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed unanimously here that this mom wasn't wrong to take away her daughter's driving privileges until she learned how to drive like an adult and not a kid who can't follow safety directions. Good luck, everyone.

Sources: Reddit
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