Mom asks if she's wrong to send daughter to 'fat camp' against ex's wishes.
I just got in a huge argument with my ex-husband about this. My 14-year-old daughter Abby just hit 210 pounds, this started about 1.5 years ago when me and my ex's divorce was finalized.
Growing up Abby was always an average weight until we went 50/50 on custody. When we were together I would do the cooking and shopping. We ate a pretty good diet with some junk food thrown in. The divorce was kinda messy but we sent the kids to therapy and it was doable. Abby started gaining weight when we went 50/50.
At the beginning I just thought it was gaining weight before a growth spurt, that wasn't the case. At my house she was eating okay but at her fathers it is all junk food, he doesn't cook and to make it worse he lives by if it is on your plate you eat it.
So in short he is giving her way to big protions of crap. I have talked to him so many times, I have tried to let her serve her own food amount, instead of him loading up her plate. He will not budge.
I got Abby into sports, which she enjoys for the most part, but it's not enough to stop the weight gain. I went to the doctor and nutritionist and it comes down to her basically eating three times the calories at her father's place.
So since Abby likes soccer, I found an overnight camp from Friday night to Sunday night, the days that he usually has Abby. Abby seemed on board with the idea and this way her dad will not be feeding her or even really seeing her for the next couple of months.
I informed him of the camp and that Abby wants to do it. It was a big argument that he circled around to her weight. He accused me of sending her to fat camp. So AITA
From the comments:
CutEmOff666 writes:
How does Abby feel about her weight and the forced feeding? In many jurisdictions, 14 year olds can have their preferences taken into account when it comes to custody.
Few-Fig1415 OP responded:
She hates it, but wants a relationship with her dad. It doesn't help that he basically has said if he loses any custody he will probably walk out of her life. I doubt that is true but he has said that. Its a mess
Complete_Ability_530 writes:
INFO: the the overnight camp for story’s or is it actually a fat camp?
Few-Fig1415 OP responded:
It's a soccer camp. You show up on Friday and stay the whole weekend and do soccer. My ex is the one calling it a fat camp. The camp will feed her and she will play a lot of soccer/field trips
chuckinhoutex writes:
NTA- and frankly, what father is doing is abusive. forcing a child to overeat. If he will not relent then I suggest you work with doctors and lawyers and get custody changed so that he doesn't create long lasting health problems in your child.
Few-Fig1415 OP responded:
I am looking into it, sadly overfeeding your kid doesn't fall under the abusive for my state. It is a mess.
Few-Fig1415 Update from OP:
I am talking to lawyers to try to get custody changed or at least a food clause in the agreement