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Mom asks if she was wrong to take away daughter's room after she left for college.

Mom asks if she was wrong to take away daughter's room after she left for college.


'AITA taking away my daughter's room after she went to college?'

My husband and I have 3 kids (F4, F18, & M20), and we live in a 3 bedroom house. The youngest one used to stay in our room, but this year since my daughter got accepted to college we decided to turn her bedroom into a room for our youngest.

When she moved out we put her stuff into the basement. She took all her important stuff to school. The only things we put in the basement were a bed, and a closet with stuff she wasn't going to pack. There's no way to make the basement a bedroom for people asking that.

Her older brother is out of the house, but goes to college close to home, so he comes home almost every weekend. We let him keep his room.

She just came back home for a few days for the first time since leaving, and when we told her she had to sleep on the sofa she blew up at us and called us a**holes for taking away her room. We had told her we might end up doing this a long time ago, and even then she got mad and said we shouldn't take her room

Another reasonable solution would be for my daughter and my youngest to share a room, which we run by her. Her opinion was 'don't have 3 kids.'

She's also coming home for summer. I told her she could share a bedroom with her sister but she got angry and said she doesn't want to share with a toddler so right now I have no idea what to do.


clamslammer707 says:

NTA: here let’s have this empty room that only gets used when the oldest gets home. Not to mention getting intimate privacy back yourself.

JaayJaay1970 says:

YTA - going away to college doesn’t mean she’s never coming home. There are holidays and the summer. But after this, I’m sure she will make arrangements to stay away.

justwaitingforgodot says:

N.T.A. for reallocating rooms. Your daughter went off to college. Her room isn’t a shrine. YTA for not talking to your daughter more thoroughly about it ahead of time, and for showing favoritism to her older brother who gets to keep his room after moving out.

Introvertedlikewoah says:

YTA for the lack of communication. Just because you told your daughter ages ago that this is what you wanted to do doesn't mean that it stuck. I think it's perfectly reasonable that you want to have a space for all of your children. If that's the case you need to MAKE the space for all of your children.

You should have told her as soon as you were making the change and allowed her to have some type of choice in the matter. What's the plan for summers? What about when she graduates?

Is she expected to be off on her own immediately or will she come back to your house to live? Where will she sleep then? There has to be a way for the family to compromise with the existing space within the home.

winesis says:

And this is what make you the AH. You need to figure out a plan if your daughter is back for the summer. Go buy a bunk bed or something.

throwaway3256f7 OP responded:

And put it where? She doesn't want to share with her little sister and she can't get along with her older brother.

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