Mom tells daughter that her ADHD is 'making her look poor.' AITA?
When this woman feels like she needs to tell her daughter the truth about her fashion sense, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for criticizing my daughter's fashion style?'
I (46M) told my daughter (25F) that i dont think she presents a good first impression because of her clothes. See, she has a long distance relationship and is going to visit next week. I am ok with that, but i worry that her bf's parents will think less of her due to her boho-hippie style.
They might think she's poor. I told that if the mom doesnt like her, she is definetely going to convince her son to break up because my daughter wouldnt be a 'fit' for the family.
For some context about my kid, she claims to have adhd (but i'm not really falling for it since her grades are mostly straight A's), is not very feminine, has pixie hair, jokes a lot and is clumsy.
She Just couldnt care less, since some of her clothes are a little ripped off. Her bf doesnt seem to mind, but i worry about his family. So when i told her about my concerns, she replied: 'If my brother brought home a girl like me, would you think the girl wasnt a fit?' to which i replied 'most likely...yes...!'
She didnt say anything but i know she doesnt agree with me. She just sat there, looked away in silence. Daughter seems to be upset but i only want her good. So...have i said something wrong? AITA here?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
kal515 writes:
YTA. Dim the lights and grab the popcorn, because your assumption that your daughter’s boyfriend’s mother would be as condescending and judgmental towards her as you (her own father ffs) are is just straight up projection. She’s 25, so I’m shocked she hasn’t started ignoring your calls already. She should.
And as a former straight-A student who wasn’t properly diagnosed with ADHD until I was 20, precisely because my parents assumed I couldn’t get those grades and have a learning disability…double YTA.
angelwrites0 writes:
Yeah, YTA. A colossal one who judges your daughter on her clothes, her hair and thinks because you're judgemental asshat everyone around you will be one too. And btw ADHD doesn't mean someone wouldn't get straight As.
It has very little to do with intelligence. Maybe actually learn about it, but oh wait, that would mean caring about who your daughter is and not who you want her to be.