One stepson spent time woodworking a gift for his stepmom's birthday. He and his father were both shocked with her reaction. Dad was so upset he decided to punish his wife for her actions.
I (M36) remarried after my late wife passed away. I have a son (15). My current wife and I have been together for 2 years. She generally has a good relationship with my son although they tend to have some disagreements from time to time.
My son has a background in arts that involve wood. He used to help his grandfather with his woodworking and learned how to make hand made wooden items and use them as gifts.
I planned a dinner party for my wife's birthday at a prestigious restaurant. The day before the party, she was cleaning my son's room and saw what he got her for her birthday and that was a wooden tree with mine, hers, and his name on it.
She talked with him and told him while she thought it was a sweet gift, she asked that he don't bring it to the restaurant and give it to her there. Why? No idea. When my son told me this I just had to call her out on it.
She flat out said that she thought the gift looked ridiculous and she didn't want it to be seen in that prestigious restaurant, and in front of her guests. I lost it on her and told her she should be ashamed of herself for saying this when my son was being sincere and thoughtful.
She swore she wasn't 'ashamed' nor 'embarrassed' by his work and even said she'll take the gift but she 'simply' didn't want it to be seen there. I told her not to worry about it since I decided to cancel the whole thing.
She went off on me calling me unreasonable for outright canceling her birthday over such a trivial thing. I refused to keep arguing but she threw a fit about how I ruined her birthday and made her lose respect for me and my promises.
My son kept the gift since she left the house 2 days ago, and my mother-in-law has been chewing me out for my decision and calling me an a**hole for treating her daughter like this.
It could be that it was not a big deal and I overreacted, but my son was feeling hurt by her request.
Holy hell. NTA at all. Your wife doesn’t sound like a very kind person at all but incredibly shallow and cruel. This calls for a “What the hell is wrong with her?”
Seriously, MIL is chewing someone out for their treatment of her child. I assume wife didn't tell her the whole story because MIL might notice OP was similarly just taking action for his child!
NTA. Thank you for having your son's back in all this. That means more than you know.
A 15 year old hand made a birthday gift for his step mother? I don’t know if she can see it’s actually 2 gifts. One, obviously the tree itself and two the thought and work he put into it. NTA she can plan her own party.
That and the fact that the 15 year old boy who lost his mother before step mom came into the picture only 2 years ago feels strongly enough about her to put all their names on a tree, making it a family tree, saying he sees her as family.
She should be crying tears of joy and parading that tree around town shouting from the roof tops how much it means to her. Instead she just ruined his trust, affections for her and possibly any other woman his dad has a relationship with.
Op NTA and you never will be for putting your son first.
She likely also just ruined his love of woodworking and has him questioning every piece he's ever given. Next time he goes to think about making something, it'll probably no longer bring him the joy it did thinking about his grandfather. Now it'll be tainted with this incident.