When this woman is furious with her son for dating a certain woman, she asks Reddit:
My son (26) has been in a relationship for 4 years with his girlfriend (25). Her and I have never particularly gotten along but I’ve tried to be nice to keep the peace. I assumed from the beginning they would break up eventually as she isn’t my son’s usual type and seems very blunt and what I assume is gothic which my son has always disliked.
However, they’ve managed to stay together this long and I haven’t overly commented on the fact because I understand he’s an adult who can make his own decisions, but I’m also an adult who can make mine. His girlfriend and I have never seen eye to eye, and my son says it’s my fault, of course because I’m his evil mother I guess!
If you ask her a question, she gives you the most logical, unsugar-coated response. She doesn’t really talk to my side of the family but does talk to my husbands and my daughter who adores her.
She doesn’t like kids and when I asked her about kids she told me as much, and I find this girl to be completely disrespectful with how quiet she is, how she acts strangely around my family at events, and how unaffectionate she is with people.
My family is very talkative and affectionate and she is disinterested in creating that relationship. My son says she’s not affectionate with her own family and that my family has made it impossible for her to be close to because we have always treated her disrespectfully, which I don’t see.
She seems to pick on my son, which I don’t appreciate, but he says is in good fun and is very common in her family to have a lighthearted go at each other. I said I found this entirely disrespectful and so she hasn’t done it in my presence again.
My son has gone LC with me and for awhile even cut contact because he said I treat this girl so poorly.
Now, he wants to propose to her and I just think it’s a bad idea. I don’t know what they have in common if anything, she’s cold and prickly, she hasn’t spoken to me or my family in months, and I think she’s manipulating him and taking him away from us.
I told him this was a bad idea and I wasn’t going to hold my tongue anymore and he said he’s an adult and can do what he wants and he’s tired of how I act to her.
I told him if he gets engaged to her I won’t speak to him again. My husband told me that this is an asshole thing to do and he has never seen why I can’t get along with her since she’s so nice.
My daughter (28) feels the same way as my husband and told me I need to get it together and how I always put me and his girlfriend into situations where I know we’re going to buttheads and that I always “start” it over silly things.
She said she’ll cut me off if I do this but I just want my son to be happy with someone who’s a nice person. AITA?
YTA. Have you considered that you and his girlfriend don't see eye to eye because she knows you seriously dislike her, and isn't willing to change who she is to make you happy?
How is being quiet disrespectful? Some people just don't like to talk. I'm one of them; it's rare for me to say more than a handful of sentences in a day. The same goes for being affectionate. Some people don't like physical affection. It makes them uncomfortable.
God forbid someone doesn't like kids. They're not for everyone, you know. It's fine for her to not like them. Of course you don't see that she's being treated badly, you clearly believe that you're entirely in the right here, and that she's a horrible, disrespectful, cruel person.
She's not taking your son away and manipulating him. He's just sick of how you treat someone he loves. No wonder he's cutting contact.
YTA, no one will ever be good enough for your son, you’ll always view them as competition. Here’s the thing, if you were more friendly, she wouldn’t ‘take him away’ from you! You’re actually being a self saboteur. But it’s making you miserable so let him marry her and cut your ties and enjoy your peace!
YTA-your son’s girlfriend is who she is. Just because she doesn’t fit into the mold you want her to be in, is not a valid reason to act the way you are. Everyone has different personalities and perspectives.
You trying to shoehorn her into the box you want her to be in is wrong. You trying to come between them because she isn’t acting the way you expect is wrong. The only two opinions that matter her are hers and your son’s. They re the ones in the relationship. You need to stay out.