Mom asks if she's wrong for not letting son go on vacation with his dad.
Coparenting is hard, especially when you feel like your co-parent is trying to turn your kid against you. When this mom feels just that, she takes to the popular Reddit forum to ask:
'AITA for not letting my son go on vacation with his father?'
I (37f) have joint custody for a 11-year child with a my ex-husband. He is pretty hostile towards me because I collect child support from him even though we have shared custody. He even got himself a paternity test.
The hostility is usually passive and we don't talk often but he has expressed it verbally before and called me names. He's called me a 'dumb bi^%h' before through text. He doesn't ever let me into his house (not that I want to) or let me near his family or other children (I don't want to either).
If my son is with me on his birthday he doesn't come over nor does he let his other children come over. He just celebrates it on his day. My son even recently told me that he thinks his dad's whole family doesn't like me.
This summer, he wanted to take my son to Greece for 3-4 weeks and then to his Australian vacation home for another 2 weeks. He has three other children. The oldest is 8 and is pretty close with my son. But why would he make it so long? A month and a half?
Taking a child out of the country requires the full consent of both parents. I said no. My son was disappointed but I made him understand how Greece could be dangerous for young children.
Ex and family ended up going without my son, cut their vacation short to three weeks (decided to skip Australia) and came home early. He said they didn't want to spend that much time on vacation without my son and asked if he could take my son to Niagara Falls instead and I said yes.
I feel like whether he intends it this way or not, my ex husband's actions are leading my son to like him and his side more than me and my side, especially given that he has siblings on his dad's side. Why is a 6-week vacation necessary? This may not explicitly be parental alienation but it has the same effect.AITA?
Let's find out.
sdstartingout writes:
YTA. Traveling abroad (under proper precautions) is not dangerous. Greece is dangerous for young children? Seriously. Greece is a major tourist destination. It's not. Anyway, you are punishing your son because of your issue with the father. Enjoy dealing with therapy/frustration of your son in the future, and don't be surprised when your son wants to live with him.
alphaowlboy disagrees:
My mind immediately went NTA. who in their mind, with a custody case as bitter as that, would allow their kid out of the country? That's asking for problems.
glitteringjoke87 writes:
Regardless of how I felt about my ex, six weeks out of the country would be a hard no for me. NTA.